tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79691829993728782572024-03-13T23:06:22.776-07:00The Struggling ChristianTheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-82156237767830629832013-04-13T14:36:00.000-07:002013-04-13T14:37:46.214-07:00What do I do when I don't feel like loving God?<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">First of all, I would like to point out that loving God is innate. It is not something that we have to work for, or acquire as we live "godly" lives. Remember that we are spirits living in a mortal body and God is a spirit, actually he is the Father of all spirits (Hebrews 12:9) and His Spirit pours His Love into our hearts (Romans 5:5); </span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: white;">it is a natural yearning of our spirits to love God</span><span style="background-color: white;">. So, this post isn't about how to eventually fall in love with God, not like there is anything like that. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">In the Bible, David talked about his yearning for God in his psalms saying "deep calls unto deep at the </span><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me" (Psalm 42:7) and how much he yearns for God's Presence saying "b</span><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">etter is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked." (Psalm 84:10).</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">However, it does happen that we </span><span style="line-height: 21px;">Christians,</span><span style="line-height: 21px;"> God's children, have moments when we feel like we don't love Him. I think this is something many of us are faced with as we live busy lives and fill our days with worry; sad, but true. And it does not help that there is a foe hellbent on a </span><span style="line-height: 21px;">pull-down</span><span style="line-height: 21px;"> ministry where he looks for who is weak, who is alone and who may give an opportunity to him. And then, there is our flesh with its deceit and its desire for all things that lead to death (</span></span><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death (Proverbs 14:12)).</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">At the end of the day, with all these working against Christians, it is </span><span style="line-height: 21px;">unfortunate</span><span style="line-height: 21px;"> that "the way" becomes unappealing and our communion with God feels clouded with guilt and never-ending resolutions to do better. But, we have to realize that although God hates sin, He loved us while we were yet sinners (Romans 5:8). Also, Jesus made it clear that He did not come for the flawless, </span></span><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">"Healthy people don't need a doctor - sick people do. I have not come to call those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners." (Mark 2:17).</span></span><br />
<div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Therefore, while it is not encouraging to feel unloving towards God, it has got be encouraging to know that He loves us dearly, without wavering, even when we falter. That why He says </span><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes. (Proverbs 24:16). I love how the New Living Translation puts it: </span><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">The reason we don't stay down, lie down or feel guiltless in sin is because our spirits love Him. It is because He is there for us and it is because we have already overcome. Therefore, our spirit by His Spirit, will always yearn for better, for growth.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">In conclusion, I would like to leave two points. Firstly, t</span><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 25px;">he whole of creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time, </span><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 25px;">we also, as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship.</span><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 25px;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 25px;">In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. </span><b style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-indent: 25px;">And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. </b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-indent: 25px;">(Romans 8:22-30). Therefore, you are already predestined, called, justified and glorified. It's like Jesus said "I have ordained you to bear much fruits, and that your fruit will remain" [</span><span style="background-color: #fffefd; color: #001320; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and </span><i style="background-color: #fffefd; color: #001320; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">that </i><span style="background-color: #fffefd; color: #001320; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. (John 15:16)]</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-indent: 25px;">. Both passages are so deep, I would not even speak more on that. The whole point is: quit worrying.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 21px; text-indent: 25px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 21px; text-indent: 25px;">Secondly, we operate by the Spirit and not our feelings. So when you don't "feel" like you love God, keep praising, keep singing, keep reading the bible, keep engaging God's Spirit and watch the Spirit in action. You'll discover pretty quickly that the Spirit of God that dwells in you yearns jealously for you (James 4:5).</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 21px; text-indent: 25px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 21px; text-indent: 25px;">All the best!!!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-indent: 25px;"><br /></span></div>
TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-70165213680881753822013-03-30T07:03:00.002-07:002013-04-07T22:05:52.388-07:00Love<div><span style="font-family: inherit;">NEW POST!!! (Finally!)<br /><br />Happy new year! Happy Easter! Happy new month! Lol</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I know its been a loooong while, I'm going to cut down on my absences from this blog, the breaks are getting way too much. Oh well, I'm going to get straight to the point on this one. Can't wait to put this out there.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />Deuteronomy 6:5 (GOD’S WORD Translation (GWT))<br />Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>This verse used to feel like a command. Like a "you must love me, else you're doomed" kind of order. But it really isn't so. <span style="font-family: inherit;">See, the one you love is the one you try to please, the one who try to please deliberately is the one you become like.<br /><br />The reality is that the enemy keeps doing all he can to draw us away from loving God, such that even without trying to "un-love" God it starts to feel that way pretty quickly when we are not making a deliberate disciplined effort to stay connected with Him. For many, after a few days of not worshiping, just reading a verse or making a journal entry feels like a chore. It starts to feel like there is no delight in doing that anymore.<br /><br />Really, the "delight" in God or in His Word is not really gone. It is still there because God's Spirit is still in you and around you. But when your heart is slowly turning cold, it can feel like God has left you. But that's impossible and a lie the enemy uses against Christians. God cannot leave you, He is always aware about you and deeply interested in you. Even when you're unfaithful, he cannot deny Himself, he is still faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). He knows you need to get out of sin quickly so you don't destroy yourself and He's going to keep trying till He gets to you. Really, just surrendering and leaving it all to Him in humility can bring that love back in one's heart.<br /><br />We exist because of God. Like your baby is a part of you, formed out of your form, so are we formed out of God's form. His Organs, His Cells, His Skeleton, His Thoughts, His Mannerisms, His Laughter, His Smile; Our DNA is His DNA. If I don't love the one I am like, I end up the opposite of my true version, the devil. I may not understand it, but God refers to liars as the children of their father, the devil. That may seem harsh, but He is pointing out one fact. How you act shows your father, your model, your love and the one you become like.<br /><br />In essence, that verse is not a command from an egomaniac It is a strong admonition from a Daddy who dearly loves me and knows it is easy for me to get carried away that who/what I love affects my eternity. And life happens that way because I am made in his image, Love (God is Love, 1 John 4:8), so love ends up determining a lot in this life. <br /><br />The conclusion of the matter is this: who I love determines who I become, who I become determines what I reap, whether Life or death. So make a very conscious decision to Love the LORD especially since there is a being out there trying to make your heart cold towards Him. <br /><br />Now I feel like I need to put up a post on loving God <i>(sigh...)</i></span></div>
</div>TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-71968281443027430902012-01-18T06:56:00.000-08:002012-01-18T07:06:18.494-08:00The heart wants what the heart wants...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk7CmglNvhGpAJHt62XloS-DmwAKQVCd9-eV1fhBDeF9TMDsEIl_GPhyiNlsJYtsbM71ecvicysSCK3WYuqVvu_oJtP_ivGXuevR9NwHyQ40jK8kdI-FAbNVb0lfRbb0tuSCoNpw1dVTjV/s1600/heart-lou.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk7CmglNvhGpAJHt62XloS-DmwAKQVCd9-eV1fhBDeF9TMDsEIl_GPhyiNlsJYtsbM71ecvicysSCK3WYuqVvu_oJtP_ivGXuevR9NwHyQ40jK8kdI-FAbNVb0lfRbb0tuSCoNpw1dVTjV/s320/heart-lou.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">It's True. But how did we come to subconsciously accept this as right?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">I had the opportunity (thank God!) to deal with an unexpected heart situation that led to a somewhat difficult decision. Not going to into details, but it was a situation that was so right, so perfect, but when I came to God for the approval that I expected, the first thing I heard was "You know I want what's best for you...". That first line shook me so hard, my heart froze and the rest of what God was saying I just could not catch.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">God did not leave me though, He was still there answering my prayers and just sticking with me, but by His grace, He got me to a point of surrender, where I needed to rest in Him and have a honest heart-to-heart conversation with Him. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">He told me to read Psalm 81. My heart melted, but see, the hardness did not just leave. But I did notice one thing, as I responded to God in prayers and in my actions, my mind shifted. I learned an important lesson. The Spirit helps us as we respond to God in obedience. At the end of the day, it is really not us doing the "obedience", but the Spirit of God in us. He however leaves us with the right to choose to stop obeying and to return to a stiff, hardened, in-submissive heart.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">This is where we have to be extra careful, because the devil would not let the thoughts of what you wanted or why it was ok to have whatever it was, to just leave you. We have to remain yielded in the Spirit to God and then the devil would flee. "<span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (James 4:7, bible.cc).</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Finally, the heart may want what it wants, but at the end of the day, " </span><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">"Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything." (1 Corinthians 6:12, bible.cc). So what are you struggling with? Or what are you struggling to ask God about in the first place? He only wants the best for you, so rest secure in His love and let go of that covetousness in the name of Jesus. Amen.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-KZYCRc4PKE" width="420"></iframe></span></span>TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-41061564108190926532011-10-06T21:21:00.000-07:002011-10-06T23:05:51.635-07:00Revelation<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Hello Everyone!!! Woohoooo...is anyone here? Lol</span><br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I feel like such a jerk :). I haven't been on here in ageeessss...I apologize really, from the bottom of my heart, to everyone who reads this blog and comes back to check if I just fell off the planet. I didn't. I just became...I don't know...</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">But I'm sorry :)</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Ok, so let's get right into it! (Rubs palms together).</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I'm so excited because this is one of those things that we get (understand), but run off and pretty much forget. I just can't wait to get it out and see what the Holy Spirit brings out of me (that's my fav part of blogging with God, and ok, I'll stop with the parenthesis).</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Ok, so just look at this verse, a close look at this one:</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/16-17.htm" style="text-decoration: none;"><b>17</b></a></span>Jesus replied, <span class="nivred">“Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven.</span> <span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/16-18.htm" style="text-decoration: none;"><b>18</b></a></span>And I tell you that you are Peter (AKA Rock, as in BOULDER),<span class="nivfootnote" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: 700; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 1px; text-decoration: none;"><sup><a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/matthew/16.htm#footnotesc" style="text-decoration: none;">c</a></sup></span><b> and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades<span class="nivfootnote" style="font-style: italic; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 1px; text-decoration: none;"><sup><a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/matthew/16.htm#footnotesd" style="text-decoration: none;">d</a></sup></span> will not overcome it.</b><span class="nivfootnote" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: 700; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 1px; text-decoration: none;"><sup><a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/matthew/16.htm#footnotese" style="text-decoration: none;">e</a></sup></span> <span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/16-19.htm" style="text-decoration: none;"><b>19</b></a></span>I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be<span class="nivfootnote" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: 700; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 1px; text-decoration: none;"><sup><a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/matthew/16.htm#footnotesf" style="text-decoration: none;">f</a></sup></span> bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be<span class="nivfootnote" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: 700; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 1px; text-decoration: none;"><sup><a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/matthew/16.htm#footnotesg" style="text-decoration: none;">g</a></sup></span> loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 16: 17-19, NIV, lifted from bible.cc)</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">So pretty much, Jesus and his close friends aka disciples aka people like moi :D were having a conversation. So Jesus, out of nowhere asks a seemingly random question. And Peter opens his mouth and said something that was like 'wow' (for lack of a better word to capture the essence of what just happened). Now, for been-in-Sunday-school-all-my-life people like me, we don't get that. Like, how did he NOT know that Jesus is the Son of God, that's so trivial, right? Wrong!</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;">See, when Jesus lived among men, it was at a time that God swore that the Jews would pretty much be blind to him, with a veil over them that though they hear, they would not understand because He was pretty much frustrated with their attitude towards Him and His Holiness. They just didn't care that the Holy One was in their midst and had no respect or honor towards God. They dabbled into idolatry, threw their kids into fire for sacrifice, had temple</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"> prostitutes (male and female) as an excuse to be horny and look religious while at it. They </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;">desecrated His temple, but the main thing that really got to God, that I get from scripture in general, was that they shed innocent blood; prophets, kids, poor and oppressed people, and from their perspective they were doing no wrong. Pretty much, their hearts were stone-hard, dark and </span></span>farrrr<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;">, very far from God. But see, these were not gentiles. They were sworn to God by an everlasting </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;">covenant that they walked into over and over again by themselves - with Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Ezra/Nehemiah, David, Solomon. Like this was a serious contract. And they always said "let our blood be upon us and upon our children if we ever deviate from the words of this</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"> covenant". Pretty intense clause to add huh?</span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">Well, being the Israelites that they were at that time, they were stubborn and unashamed (God's words not mine, even made an allusion to them being whores without remorse - I love my bible, no jokes). But this is pretty serious stuff. </span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">Well anyways, they were living in "darkened" times by the time the Messiah was on earth. Revelation was scarce. And they couldn't recognize God talking unless it was a pharisee with his all flowing, elegant robes who said, "Thus says the Lord...". But they weren't really alarmed because, one, they were in many ways "unfamiliar with/strangers to" God (and oblivious to it), and so they could talk about Him, but just not know him and two, they were children/servants/descendants of Moses - you have to be a bible reader to get this.</span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">Well, so God himself was in their midst. They could tell "Jesus" was God-related, but they couldn't tell it was God himself. And no one would be able to by their flesh and blood (brains and ogbon), unless God revealed it.</span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">So Simon, just replied Jesus' "random" question and as I can imagine kinda like an eager 3rd grader who answered a question before anyone could put up their hands. Then Jesus let him know, he was right, but more than that, it did not come from him, but directly from Heaven. But here's where it gets really interesting...</span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><b>...and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades<span class="nivfootnote" style="font-style: italic; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 1px; text-decoration: none;"><sup><a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/matthew/16.htm#footnotesd" style="text-decoration: none;">d</a></sup></span> will not overcome it.</b><span class="nivfootnote" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: 700; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 1px; text-decoration: none;"><sup><a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/matthew/16.htm#footnotese" style="text-decoration: none;">e</a></sup></span> <span class="reftext" style="line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top;"><a href="http://bible.cc/matthew/16-19.htm" style="text-decoration: none;"><b>19</b></a></span>I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be<span class="nivfootnote" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: 700; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 1px; text-decoration: none;"><sup><a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/matthew/16.htm#footnotesf" style="text-decoration: none;">f</a></sup></span> bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be<span class="nivfootnote" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: 700; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 1px; text-decoration: none;"><sup><a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/matthew/16.htm#footnotesg" style="text-decoration: none;">g</a></sup></span> loosed in heaven.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">Hmm. And on this rock I will build my church. What rock? Revelation that comes from the Father. Simple. </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">Now, let me slow down. Peter just had a gush of revelation. Then Jesus called him by a new name that means seriously, huge, strong, not easily broken, boulder rock. And Jesus goes on and says He will build his church i.e. Me (and of course Christians) on this rock, which would never be overcome by the gates of hell - think war, battle, heavy fighting from the devil. It would simply be like a speck of dust that gets blown away before it tries to get near you. Do you get it?</span></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">Let me go over again, cos I'm just too excited. Ok, so Jesus lets us know that revelation is as a boulder rock (remember the parable about the two men, one built his house on sand, the other on the rock, and when the winds came (gates of hell), it could not prevail against it. The one on sand of course crashed, it couldn't even stand a chance). But Jesus goes further the we would be built based on the revelation we get from Heaven. The more Revelation we get, no matter how contrary the physical seem, it would not shake us one bit and we would overcome all that gets thrown our way. But also, we get the authority to speak this Revelation back into the realm of the Spirit, and what ever we bind on earth would be bound in heaven and whatever we loose on earth would be loosed in heaven. Don't know about you but that kind of authority is pretty neat!</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">So, now you see, it is one thing to hear your pastor say something and you go and quote it. It's another to hear God tell you something, you get the revelation for it and speak it, stand upon it, decree and declare and shake the foundations of the earth that what you declare becomes established.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">Wow, it feels good to be a Child of the Most High. No jokes, I'm a special kind of VIP. A vvvvvvvvip. </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">I'm so excited, but let me leave with these two scriptures. Leave your thoughts in the box below I want to keep talking about this.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;">It is the glory of God that hides the word, and the glory of the King that seeks for (investigate, search out, uncover, reveal) the word. (Proverbs 25:2, Aramaic bible in plain English, from bible.cc, with my extras in the bracket)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"> </span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach (create the knowledge principle in) you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. (Deut 8:3, NIV, from bible.cc).</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 21px;">Phew...I did get something out, but I feel like I haven't even scratched the surface.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></div>
TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-4722569451044506542011-03-12T22:09:00.001-08:002011-03-12T22:25:51.448-08:00Speaking in tongues<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><span class="reftext"><b>1</b></span> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/7225.htm" title="re'shiyth (ray-sheeth') -- beginning, chief(-est), first(-fruits, part, time), principal thing" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">In the beginning</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/430.htm" title="'elohiym (el-o-heem') -- angels, X exceeding, God (gods)(-dess, -ly), X (very) great, judges, X mighty" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">God</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/1254.htm" title="bara' (baw-raw') -- choose, create (creator), cut down, dispatch, do, make (fat)." style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">created</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/8064.htm" title="shamayim (shaw-mah'-yim) -- air, X astrologer, heaven(-s)" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">the heaven</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/853.htm" title="'eth (ayth) -- (as such unrepresented in English)" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">and</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/776.htm" title="'erets (eh'-rets) -- X common, country, earth, field, ground, land, X natins, way, + wilderness, world" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">the earth</a> <span class="reftext"><b>2</b></span> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/776.htm" title="'erets (eh'-rets) -- X common, country, earth, field, ground, land, X natins, way, + wilderness, world" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">And the earth</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/1961.htm" title="hayah (haw-yaw) -- beacon, X altogether, be(-come), accomplished, committed, like), break, cause, come (to pass)" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">was</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/8414.htm" title="tohuw (to'-hoo) -- confusion, empty place, without form, nothing, (thing of) nought, vain, vanity, waste, wilderness" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">without form</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/922.htm" title="bohuw (bo'-hoo) -- emptiness, void" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">and void</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/2822.htm" title="choshek (kho-shek') -- dark(-ness), night, obscurity" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">and darkness</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/6440.htm" title="paniym (paw-neem') -- + accept, a-(be-)fore(-time), against, anger, X as (long as), at, + battle, + because (of), + beseech, countenance, edge, + employ, endure, + enquire, face, favour, fear of, for, forefront(-part), form(-er time, -ward), from, front, heaviness, X him(-self), + honourable, + impudent, + in, it, look(-eth) (- s), X me, + meet, X more than, mouth, of, off, (of) old (time), X on, open, + out of, over against, the partial, person, + please, presence, propect, was purposed, by reason of, + regard, right forth, + serve, X shewbread, sight, state, straight, + street, X thee, X them(-selves), through (+ - out), till, time(-s) past, (un-)to(-ward), + upon, upside (+ down), with(- in, + -stand), X ye, X you" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">was upon the face</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/8415.htm" title="thowm (teh-home') -- deep (place), depth" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">of the deep</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/7307.htm" title="ruwach (roo'-akh) -- air, anger, blast, breath, X cool, courage, mind" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">And the Spirit</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/430.htm" title="'elohiym (el-o-heem') -- angels, X exceeding, God (gods)(-dess, -ly), X (very) great, judges, X mighty" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">of God</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/7363.htm" title="rachaph (raw-khaf') -- flutter, move, shake" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">moved</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/5921.htm" title="al (al) -- above, according to(-ly), after, (as) against, among, and, X as, at, because of, beside" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">upon</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/6440.htm" title="paniym (paw-neem') -- + accept, a-(be-)fore(-time), against, anger, X as (long as), at, + battle, + because (of), + beseech, countenance, edge, + employ, endure, + enquire, face, favour, fear of, for, forefront(-part), form(-er time, -ward), from, front, heaviness, X him(-self), + honourable, + impudent, + in, it, look(-eth) (- s), X me, + meet, X more than, mouth, of, off, (of) old (time), X on, open, + out of, over against, the partial, person, + please, presence, propect, was purposed, by reason of, + regard, right forth, + serve, X shewbread, sight, state, straight, + street, X thee, X them(-selves), through (+ - out), till, time(-s) past, (un-)to(-ward), + upon, upside (+ down), with(- in, + -stand), X ye, X you" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">the face</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/4325.htm" title="mayim (mah'-yim) -- + piss, wasting, water(-ing, (-course, -flood, -spring))" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">of the waters</a> <span class="reftext"><b>3</b></span> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/430.htm" title="'elohiym (el-o-heem') -- angels, X exceeding, God (gods)(-dess, -ly), X (very) great, judges, X mighty" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">And God</a> <a href="http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/559.htm" title="'amar (aw-mar') -- answer, appoint, avouch, bid, boast self, call, certify, challenge, charge" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); ">said</a>... (Genesis 1)</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">Speaking in tongues. This is one area that the church has misled many believers. I`m not going in to tackle the issues, at least not right now. But I`m going to try to write about it as God has taught me, and I`ll only go as far as I know.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">One thing that I misunderstood about speaking in tongu</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">es was that it wasn't for everybody. That some people can and some people cannot speak in tongues. And if you wanted to speak in tongues, you needed some spiritual "maturity". I put that in quotes because in retrospect, I did not understand that either.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">True, there is a connection between speaking in tongues and your spiritual maturity, much like a connection with warriors skillfully wielding their swords. Also, God does not 'discriminate' between those who can and cannot speak in tongues. As Dr. Creflo Dollar put it, it wasn`t as though the Corithians could speak in tongues but the Ephesians could not. No, it is an ability you get as a born again christian, having received that Life-giving Spirit within you; it is the evidence of the Spirit of God.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">As God's kids, we are just like Him. We create, move things aro</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">und with our words. How many of you see the effects of your self-confessions in your lives? Both the good and the bad. That is why God tells us to guard our hearts with all diligence because out of it flows all the issues of life. How? By our tongues - the power of life and death is in the t</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">ongue. That is why the bible says the one who has control over his tongue has control over his body.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">But allow me to focus on something very special about the Holy Spirit within us.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">The spirit of man is the lamp of the LORD, searching all the in</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">nermost parts of his being (Proverbs 20:27)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">...the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. <span class="reftext" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><a href="http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/2-11.htm" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); "><b>11</b></a></span>For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. (1 Corinthians 2)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">When God said in Christ we have become of the same Spirit, bone and flesh of God, he wasn't joking. As born again christians, we are intimated connected with God. Paul even calls this a deep mystery. The depths is deeper than any revelation you get about a marria</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">ge convenant.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">But see, this bond between man and God isn't there for nothing. Praying in the Holy Ghost is literally praying in the Holy Ghost. It is amazing. The full power and presence of God praying in you and through you with perfect knowledge, perfect understanding and perfect words.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">There is no need to trivialize things into "well, we don't know all th</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">ings, so God prays through us". It is true, but it is not the big picture. See that oneness, unity and bond between the creator and the created creating together. If God is for us, who really can be against us? With God, we have overwhelming victory in all things.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">When I, by the grace of God speak in tongues, I come against all powers of darkness, gods and dominions causing things that are not of God in my life and ev</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">en beyond me to move. I move with the Father. In short, I'm with Abba running things lol.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">But seriously, speaking in tongues in part of your identity as the new man under the second Adam. We are different from what we've known, the bible says peculiar, so don't let the devil tell you lies about what you can do, or cannot do.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; ">"<b>...</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; "><b>put on the new man, which is renewed in </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; "><b>knowledge after the image of him that created him</b>" (Colossians 3:10). We are growing to become like God, so lay hold of all God has for you, get into praying in the Holy Ghost.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; "><br /></span></div><img src="http://www.speaking-in-tongues.net/images/pentecost.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 220px; height: 183px;" border="0" alt="" />TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-47992066273418938732011-01-20T08:50:00.001-08:002011-01-20T14:12:08.996-08:00Faith, My RoseAhhh...what a wonderful day today is already!<div><br /></div><div>Now, where do I start? Let me start from Sunday.</div><div><br /></div><div>My church CWL (www.churchwithoutlimits.com) invited a powerful man of God and his wife, also a powerful woman of God, Prophet Yul Crawford and Mrs. Jane Crawford, over for the weekend. They were going to preach, teach, minister and whatever else as the Spirit directs over four different sessions.</div><div><br /></div><div>I guess for some reason, the devil was mighty bothered. All of a sudden, from absolutely nowhere, and I mean, NOwhere, I became the target of what the MFM G.O. would call "arrows". At first, someone for no reason was just generally angry with me and she knew she had no cause but she was just too pissed. A scripture kept coming to my mind, that the one who does not guard his heart is like a city without walls, open to plunderers and raiders. I knew the devil was planting seeds in her heart, but I didn't want to pray for her, I didn't want to intercede because I was getting upset by her attitude myself...wrong move!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Next, someone else, on a sunday morning, right in front of the garage door on my way out to church was explaining to me, why my church is not "good" and why I should find somewhere else to worship. He was saying this calmly but I could hear the devil and I knew what he (the devil) was up to, but I still didn't pray....double wrong move....again!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Church service ends, and I must say I was so blessed by the ministration, however, my heart started to feel a sharp, deep agony within it and I knew the Holy Spirit wanted me to contend in the Spirit for something, but I just wasn't too bothered.</div><div><br /></div><div>I just have to stop now and ask myself what on earth I was thinking???? Who does that???? </div><div><br /></div><div>Now, as I'm driving home, I start mumbling some words out as I prayed in tongues, but I just wasn't "in" it. </div><div><br /></div><div>I get home and AAAALL hell breaks loose. My goodness, no human heart, being or soul can take, endure or go through all I took. After all was said and done, I said I'm sorry (for nothing I did by the way) and I got back "sorry for yourself". Jesus! I felt the old me leaping up wanting to go all out and set the record straight...but I found myself going to my room.</div><div><br /></div><div>Fast forward to evening, I went for the last session with the prophets and my goodness, the Presence of God was all over, I was at peace and just happy. All that happened earlier just didn't matter. On my drive home, I started to feel that agony, and I started to pray in tongues, but this time I was "in". I was screaming and breaking down strongholds like a warrior, it was ridiculous. I'm thinking to myself, where did all that come from, because I just do not pray like that. It just had never happened like that before. And I tell you, my peace was GREAT.</div><div><br /></div><div>I knew I had victory, over what I did not know. But I knew something was happening and something had happened. </div><div><br /></div><div>And so, from the weekend till last night, it has been from one attack to another with the devil trying so hard to steer me dangerously off the course God was walking with me on, but God is faithful. He would give you the right and timely Word before the situation happens, so your thinking is perfectly aligned with His heart and nothing can harm you. The devil tried all tricks, he pulled it all, things that I ordinarily would have given into, he threw them at me and with such vehement force but in all I was (and still am) an overcomer and had soooo much peace. I don't want to go into details but there are some words that people would say to you that would always get you when they are said. You can't explain it, but once it comes out it would sting. Usually, it's because of an old wound or memory that you've probably forgotten. Or it could be a way of thinking that could be used to attack you that just always gets you. But in all, my heart felt wrapped in a cocoon of peace.</div><div><br /></div><div>But this morning, I decided to do something different. I decided to go to church and then the library, and skip on work completely. I walked to a church that is about 20mins away from home, asked to use the sanctuary and was let in. Afterwards, I was asked to come into an office, and my goodness, it was perfect. It had a nice desk and some chairs and a bible on the table and enough room for me to lie down if I wanted, cry it I wanted, scream if I wanted. My heart said, and I believe it was the Holy Spirit, "God always provides for His own".</div><div><br /></div><div>I put my stuff on the chairs and sat on the floor. I needed to empty myself and let Papa take control. You know, even though God gives you peace in the middle of a tornado, the devil would remind you and throw flashbacks to your soul that you may be wounded. I wasn't having it, and the only way I knew to handle that is to lay before God completely. I did not know how long I was going to be there, but I was just going to stay.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, something like a psalm came out my heart. How many of you know that sometimes, when you can't muster up the exact words to pray, the most beautiful words flow out of your spirit...yep, it's God's. Talk about being "intimate", it was perfect, I wish I wrote it down. And then, the tears came. </div><div><br /></div><div>I then went through the bible on the desk listlessly, ended up at Galatians and just left it. I grabbed my laptop and listened to an old sermon by Dr. Creflo Dollar. Even when I didn't know what I was doing, God was directing my steps. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzuDrNPUVUz3ExqPGOKSnNzEvUga09jL1il8HLSsLVkxocM94gXqFU8-7gEui6Szs4LbJbpbE6bTyY5kPy7QQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span><div><br /></div></div><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxghUQQ_PlbcrzVqRZSK5CIX8beWuZWPqyf9uCYZH_rqZorMdumnY73ulet0lbWesc65PYHTNlriMhwsqowhw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div><br /></div><br /><div><br /></div><div>I have listened to this sermon before, but this time, I heard it differently. I suggest you give it a listen.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, I return to the still open bible on the table, and guess what passage it is on?</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 21px; ">Life by the Spirit</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 21px; "><p class="NPST" style="margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; "><span class="reftext" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><a href="http://bible.cc/galatians/5-16.htm" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); "><b>16</b></a></span>So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. <span class="reftext" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><a href="http://bible.cc/galatians/5-17.htm" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); "><b>17</b></a></span>For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. <span class="reftext" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><a href="http://bible.cc/galatians/5-18.htm" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); "><b>18</b></a></span>But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.</p><p class="NPST" style="margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; "><span class="reftext" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><a href="http://bible.cc/galatians/5-19.htm" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); "><b>19</b></a></span>The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; <span class="reftext" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><a href="http://bible.cc/galatians/5-20.htm" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); "><b>20</b></a></span>idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions <span class="reftext" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><a href="http://bible.cc/galatians/5-21.htm" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); "><b>21</b></a></span>and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.</p><p class="NPST" style="margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; "><span class="reftext" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><a href="http://bible.cc/galatians/5-22.htm" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); "><b>22</b></a></span>But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,<span class="reftext" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><a href="http://bible.cc/galatians/5-23.htm" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); "><b>23</b></a></span>gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. <span class="reftext" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><a href="http://bible.cc/galatians/5-24.htm" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); "><b>24</b></a></span>Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. <span class="reftext" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><a href="http://bible.cc/galatians/5-25.htm" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); "><b>25</b></a></span>Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. <span class="reftext" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 19, 32); line-height: 14px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 2px; vertical-align: text-top; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><a href="http://bible.cc/galatians/5-26.htm" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 146, 242); "><b>26</b></a></span>Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (Galatians 5: 16-26, NIV, lifted from bible.cc)</p><p class="NPST" style="margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal; font-size: 16px; "></span></p><div>Need I say more? God was leading me to walk according to His wisdom and will in this situation because of my peace, not because I wanted "vindication", or to "heap coals of fire" on the heads of those who offended me, but because of me.</div><div><br /></div><div>I needed to do good in oneness with the Spirit of God within me, leading me that I may through His grace, establish peace and prosperity in my home. That shalom and wholeness may be found where the devil had intended for factions and cracked walls. But at the "foundation" of my action(s), I must walk in oneness with God's Spirit, completely, and when I do, there's no room for the flesh.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, how does a rose come in?</div></span><p></p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: center; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg59Vh-HmVdcIDUyLug2_vi5uVkqx3aQSMdpGVKa3eGTZG4FqoLwGwNiLoLOgK7ld5rpyQJ_HCeD-J9RWj25ajyMp8D4EWD4_w5WmTsAZnOsuoBAZJKhjXBRRpXBKYrgO8hsg1lFnZaCfml/s320/Image108.jpg" /></p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: center; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; "><br /></p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; ">Well, as I packed my things to leave the church office I was in, and let me add, God's Presence was so strong in that room, a lady came up to the door and said "hello!". I smiled and said hello back. Then she said, that someone gave her a rose yesterday, that she didn't have anything to do with it and when she saw me, something told her to give it to me, and that I should be free to come back anytime I wanted. This was after a lady came in to pray for/with me and everything she said was on point! Don't you just love God?</p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; ">But, let me finish, about the rose...a couple of months back, I was walking to the subway on my way back from work and I saw a man dressed in his waiter uniform, the kind they wear in french restaurants, and he carried a bouquet of roses. It looked oh so romantic, like it was right out of a movie. Then I said to God in my heart, "God, I would really like someone to get me flowers".</p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; ">And when I wasn't watching, my heavenly Father got me a rose. The exact flower I wanted.</p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: center; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcYrKUVVAEOmQSzqnMNeL9tFJ-B95EE0MsoALQes-1eA7eGSdYlZTCKaV1pXVUfr4al46wa5GHzpTokbqdy_3zTEhe5p2P4H2vGiNAXwAZA9jGQr4U8_0nhYrxRpL8_ARS6aFAVtF77Ft5/s320/Image109.jpg" /></p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: center; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; "><br /></p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; ">Isn't it lovely? I know, the first picture doesn't do it justice. Pardon me, I took the pictures with my computer's webcam.</p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; "><br /></p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; ">Can I just say I LOVE GOD? When you know God loves you, everyone else is "jara".</p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; color: rgb(128, 128, 128); "><span class="Apple-style-span"><b>♫ </b></span></span>It's going to be a lovely day... <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; color: rgb(128, 128, 128); "><span class="Apple-style-span">♫</span></span></p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; ">Oh dear, the devil just lost another one...hehehe....another battle, I mean.</p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; ">Yep, I named this rose Faith. Lovely name init? No, I am not British and I never use that word, just FYI, lol!</p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; ">So, I guess the point of this post is that God's love is perfect. His arms are the best, His heart is the best, His wisdom is unsearchable, His peace is without end. And He has chosen to freely pour it out on us. So, pay no attention to those "arrows". Distractions are just what they are...distractions. Do not give them space in your heart.</p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; ">God's blessings,</p><p class="NPST" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 12px; text-indent: 25px; margin-bottom: 12px; ">Me.</p></div></div>TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-33170705470239326702011-01-01T12:16:00.000-08:002011-01-01T12:22:57.909-08:00It's a new year!!!Happy new year everyone!!! <div><br /></div><div>First off, I am so grateful to God for a wonderful 2010 and I am so looking forward to 2011 and all that He is going to do and accomplish through me in all areas of my life.</div><div><br /></div><div>A HUGE thank you to all my blog followers. I am sooo grateful for all y'all. I know I don't acknowledge followers on this blog as much, but I really want you all to know I am grateful for your presence on this blog, your comments, your words and thoughts - they are all very "impactful"...and in a good way.</div><div><br /></div><div>I wish you all the best of the new year in your friendships, family, work, education....everything!</div><div><br /></div><div>God bless you all and cheers to a new, fruitful year!</div>TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-39464663318874063292010-12-28T19:40:00.000-08:002010-12-28T19:49:12.801-08:00Was I born this way? - Creflo DollarListen to this life-changing, juicy-with-deep-knowledge discussion with Dr. Creflo Dollar. This is bound to break a lot of generational chains and addictions.<br /><div><br /><div><div><a href="http://cdmlive.creflodollarministries.org/">http://cdmlive.creflodollarministries.org/</a></div></div></div><div><br /></div><div>_______________________________________</div><div><br /></div><div>This is the second part of the "Was I born this way?" discussion. The first is on the website above, under the 'archive' link - do check it out.</div>TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-64896156306973760862010-11-27T15:58:00.000-08:002010-11-27T17:17:09.801-08:00Who am I?I was sitting at my desk, completely unmotivated to study for a major professional exam I am studying for. And last night, I told God I feel completely unmotivated to continue with Him as I have been doing. I wondered if there is something wrong somewhere with the way I was serving God, I wondered if Grace means doing absolutely nothing and just eating the Word till the Spirit moves over it and causes a change within, I wondered if I just do not know what I am doing. And in the midst of it all, the consciousness of my sinful nature was front and center in my mind. And I just felt unmotivated about everything else in my life. If I can't get this right, then what am I living for? Without God I am nobody; if I can't honor Him with my life, if my heart is divided, what am I living for? How different am I from the hypocrites in the Church of God, His very own Bride? <br /><br />As I sat in my dad's study, this line came to my mind: "Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.” 1 Kings 19:18<br /><br />I did a quick google search, got on bible gateway and found out what chapter and verse in the bible that came from. I need to quickly mention, among other thoughts that came to my mind, it was highlighted in my mind the context in which God said this to Elijah - one of the most difficult and lowest of lows in his life, and not only that, that that was the birthing of Elisha's ministry. He was one of the greatest national prophets in Israel since Moses. <br /><br />Within that same second, or maybe seconds, (it's interesting how fast our thoughts form), I remembered a verse I read last night or the night before. The verse jumped right out to me and softened my heart. It said "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and [that] your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you." John 15:16.<br /><br />Reading the passages prior to this verse about remaining tied to the vine, remaining in God's Love that my joy may be full and obeying him over the last couple of days, maybe weeks, had caused me to be stressed out. I felt as though I really can't do this, not because I don't want to, but because my heart has little to no desire to absolutely, without any iota of a doubt, completely and fully obey God. It is difficult. <br /><br />There's drama and sources of drama front, right and center. There's sources of conflicts within me, professional motivations that border and constantly fall into a place of lust and love of this world. There's thorns left right and center to choke out the Word within, there's people who take pleasure in putting down others to make themselves look good (and you have to LOVE them with absolutely no pretense, knowing they are emotional vultures). There's all kinds of things running through one's mind; past regrets, past hurts, frustrations, anger, malice, covetousness. But somehow somehow, God is not changing His stance (lol) and still says "be ye holy as I am holy", "as dear children, imitate your Father". Really??? Can I give in today and continue tomorrow? Can I just chill?! Can I just be upset because I want to be and not mask the true feelings within? Can I accept a call from him or him or him, knowing fully well he would try to steer me in a direction I know isn't yet in God's plan for me? Can I just be?<br /><br />But in all these, I forgot that I did not choose Him, but He chose me from the very foundations of the earth to be a partaker of His divine glory. And He looks at me in the eyeball and says "who says I cannot be like Him??? He ORDAINED me already to go out and bear much fruit and that my fruit should REMAIN. Definitely not those Sunday afternoons church highs. No, like a tree planted by a river of water, my fruit shall remain all season. Not because of any spiritual prowess I may have (some people think like this - this is nothing but the same quality within lucifer that led him against God), not because of my will power, and definitely not because I find any good within myself that will make me work out God's will - the flesh cannot glory in His Presence. But because He ORDAINED me. This tells me there is a lot about Grace I really do not know. <br /><br />And like that passage in the 1 Kings, even though it may seem really difficult and impossible to remain in God's will, there are many thousands, and in our time, definitely millions, who have not bowed their knee to the god of this age, nor kissed him with their mouth. <br /><br />So as Peter charged the Church I charge you all, and myself especially, to be humbled by God's power so that when the right time comes he will honor you. Turning all your anxiety over to God because he cares for you. Keep your mind clear, and be alert. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion as he looks for someone to devour. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Be firm in the faith and resist him, knowing that other believers throughout the world are going through the same kind of suffering.</span> But God, who shows you his kindness/mercy/grace and <span style="font-weight:bold;">who has called you through Christ Jesus to his eternal glory</span>, will restore you, strengthen you, make you strong, and support you as you suffer <span style="font-weight:bold;">for a little while</span>. Power belongs to him forever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:6-11)<br /><br />I am not alone; there are others in this world who will not worship nor serve any other but the LORD GOD in Spirit and in truth. But above all, I have JEHOVAH with me, not by my choosing, but out of His own self-will, he has chosen me. It is His Spirit working in me that would mold me into His image and not my will power, not "my righteousness". My Righteousness <span style="font-weight:bold;">is of God</span> and my witness is on high. (Gosh! I have tears in my eyes!!!)TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-70213059341223283382010-07-11T20:42:00.000-07:002010-07-11T22:00:26.990-07:00Spiritual Warfare: The Pornography BattleI got this from nevahurd's website (www.nevahurd.com), and I just couldn't help sharing it. The demonic influence of pornography is real and at its fundamental level, it is designed by the devil through the depravity of man's mind and man's carnal nature to wreak havoc to man's essence. It is nothing more than the vile attempt of our enemy to rob of us of our "essence". Now, I'm tempted to talk a bit more about God's heart for man and relationships, but I'll just stop there. Hope this blesses you.<br /><br />Psalm 119:9<br />How can a young person keep his life pure? He can do it by holding on to your word.<br /><br />1 Corinthians 6:18<br />Stay away (FLEE) from sexual sins. Other sins that people commit don’t affect their bodies the same way sexual sins do. People who sin sexually sin against their own bodies.<br /><br />---<br /><br />Spiritual Warfare: The Pornography Battle<br /><br /> The pornography industry raked in a modestly estimated figure of $ 13 billion dollars last year, a number that is expected to climb substantially in the year to come. Clearly, many people are watching, producing, participating in, and distributing pornography, but who are these people? Surprisingly, many of the shareholders within the porn industry are also shareholders of many reputable corporations and the consuming public of pornography is comprised of our dear friends, beloved family members, and loyal co-workers.<br /><br /> We are now living in an age in which God’s principles about sexual purity have been deemed old fashioned, while the easy accessibility of pornography has helped it to become a rite of passage for many pre-teen boys and girls, with consumption beginning as early as 9 years old. Some would argue that the viewing of pornography is OK, and has a less harmful effect on children than violence portrayed in movies and all other forms of mainstream media. The reported numbers of pornography and sex addictions in North America alone however, quickly provides evidence, which refutes the idea that pornography is not dangerous.<br /><br />Not only is pornography a violation of natural sexuality, it is a violation of God’s intention for the use of sexual activity to be designated and enjoyed between a wife and husband within the sacred institution of marriage. <br />In 1 Thessalonians 4:3, we are told, “It is God’s will that we should…avoid sexual immorality”. The consequences of failing to heed God’s advice regarding this subject are outlined in Romans 1:26. The enemy, Satan seeks to provide a vile counterfeit for all of God’s holy instructions, and the issue of sex is no exception. The moral decay of our society is obvious when “marriage counsellors” suggest the viewing of pornography between couples as a creative way to “spice up their sex lives”. In addition, seventy-two percent of individuals in an academic study admitted to using pornography to masturbate and to arouse a partner. Along with this, many women and men admitted to feeling less attractive and sexually inadequate to their spouses after viewing pornography (Kinsey Institute, 2009).<br /><br />The devil also seeks to deceive the human mind by introducing a plethora of mostly male viewers to consume and distribute images and videos of children as young as 2 years old being sexually abused and exploited for financial gain. The devil’s insidious deception also perpetuates the violent oppression of women within the pornography industry with key phrases such as “Dominant men beat up dirty sluts” being some of the most requested on the internet.<br /><br />The evidence of the dark effects of the sex industry on a morally bankrupt society should be enough to convince us that we should not be consuming pornography. The demons of sexual sins however, are very difficult to overcome. The apostle Paul instructs us to flee sexual immorality (1Corinthians 6:18)<br />(1Corinthians 6:18), but what should we do when we have already been captured and have become powerless to this sin? Christ offers a very important means of conquering Satan in this respect. He urges us to pray and fast earnestly as some sins can only be overcome by using this remedy (Matthew 17: 20-21).<br /><br />If you or someone you know is struggling with pornography and or sex addiction, please visit www.xxxchurch.com<br />(A Christian website devoted to helping people overcome their sex/porn addictions).<br /><br />Seeking the counsel of a trusted Christian friend, religious leader, or support group may also be helpful in overcoming a problem that is afflicting many Christian men and women alike.<br /><br /><br />Written By :Shanichia HenryTheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-36397447132545596252010-06-30T23:40:00.000-07:002010-07-11T22:27:28.582-07:00To forgive or not to forgive?Forgiveness.<br /><br />To be sincere, in retrospect, I really did not get it. What it was really about.<br /><br />Forgiveness is easy to talk about, easy to understand when you are the one encouraging someone to do it. But when you've been disrespected, slandered and pretty much torn apart from the mouth of either someone close to you or someone whose respect means something to you. Then you really know if the Word is alive in you or if it is just conveniently alive in you.<br /><br />It's been a little over a week since a huge blow up happened between me and a close younger relative and then my heart was exposed to me. I figured I didn't really care much about what this person says because she always came across as arrogant, ignorant and immature. I just laughed whenever she said something "interesting" about someone or if she acted in an "interesting" way. But when it was all turned up against me, a lot of the anger issues I was dealing with from other sources, which I didn't take up to God, came spewing out like an intense, scary volcanic eruption. I knew better, but to hell with better, I wanted to whoop some butt!<br /><br />For the first time ever, I understood the bible verse "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." (Ephesians 4:26).<br /><br />GOD's WORD translation puts it this way:<br />"Be angry without sinning. Don’t go to bed angry." Do not go to bed angry. We really do not give much thought to that because it's easy to accept and unconsciously convince ourselves that we are no longer angry. We easily accept that yes, we were angry, even God allows it, but no, we did not sin and more than that, we are not going to bed angry. But if truly we are going to bed without anger in our hearts, this is how we know:<br /><br />"Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry - but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life." (Ephesians 4:26, The Message translation).<br /><br />Do I need to say more? That pretty much explains what it means to be angry and sin, and what it means to go to bed with anger in your heart. Do not use your anger as fuel for revenge.<br /><br />In my heart, even though I wasn't going to go on an attack rampage on this person, I was going to "put her in her place". I "needed to set her straight". That right there was completely out of God's will. Completely. I had essentially given the devil a foothold in my life. And as I read these scriptures now, I remember how that night was. I found it difficult to worship and be intimate with God, so I began to pray for the Holy Spirit to help me, for God to lift all barriers and as was praying I started to say I forgive this person and I went to say I forgive other people who had said things to spite me weeks earlier. Remember I said earlier that I took out all the anger bottling up in me on this person. The Holy Spirit took me back to that. Just an aside, I love how God is so real. The Word of God is alive and the Word says we do not know what to pray but the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. We Christians are quick to put God in a box and assume that's when you speak in tongues. But I was praying in English and every word hit me to the depth of my soul even though prior to that I thought I was over that incident. But God showed me through prayer the real intent of my heart. <br /><br />As I said that prayer, tears were flowing out my eyes uncontrollably and I felt myself surrendering. Just plain surrendering. Some words are not enough to capture the intensity of the moment. And I literally felt something lift off me. I love God and this again shows His desire for me. It shows that even though I had given the devil a foothold and the true desires of my heart was like cursing God to His face, He still desired my company. He still wants me when I do not want Him.<br /><br />This is forgiveness. When we left go of negative emotions no matter how much people hurt us, and turn around and say to God, I'll follow you and love this person. I'll forgive.<br /><br />This is what happens when we do not forgive:<br /><br />"14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:14-15).<br /><br />The Message translation breaks it down. "In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part." (The Message). <br /><br />The Bible goes further in Matthew 18:35 and says "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." This is when Jesus shared the parable about the servant who was forgiven his sins by his lord, but who wouldn't forgive another just like him for what he did to him.<br /><br />Sweeping it under the rug isn't forgiveness. God forgives us from the depths of His heart. That is exactly how we should treat others. "If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." (John 20:21-24). Do not just sweep the matter under the rug.<br /><br />But this cannot happen outside of God's help just because of man's ways. As a scripture in the Psalms says, return to God by the help of His Hand. (This is the God-Junkie Standard Version, when I find it I'll update this). We have to take God's Hand, which He offers us freely, opening up our hearts and letting Him be God.<br /><br />People are bound to upset us, but as God's babies, we should imitate Him as dear children imitate their fathers. "Jesus said to his disciples: "Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him." (Luke 17:1-3)<br /><br />May God bless and deliver you from all pain, shame and whatever else may be involved as you unbottle your heart and let God be God. In Jesus' name, Amen.TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-62953892508351217182010-06-22T16:13:00.000-07:002010-06-22T17:08:08.773-07:00Some thoughtsI`m just going to dive into it...<br /><br />1. But really, is there a Prophet in North America??? Is there one in the world??? Just tossing back and forth in my mind the time Elisha said to the King of Israel "Let them know there is a prophet in Israel". <br /><br />He understood something we are not really getting. And if Jesus had to die for us to Live in that kind of authority, I wonder if God is...well, not happy. Not saying all were called to be prophets; it's a bit deeper than that, but you get my drift. Still, who is willing to drop their inhibitions and all God is leading them to drop. <br /><br />I am. I may fail 20x in one day<span style="font-style:italic;"> and it ain't even noon yet</span>, but God is smiling, beaming, because I choose constantly to walk in His will. His joy is my strength. That's why I do not fear condemnation. It is not from God, it is from the devil and he is under my feet. He knows it well, but guess what, I know it now very well. Therefore, I can repent freely, submit myself to the Lord without fear, resist the devil and my oh my, he will FLEE! <br /><br />Also, do you know that Jesus said only those that do the will of the Father in Heaven will go to Heaven, not those who call Him Lord, or say they cast out demons in his name. That`s why God is extremely happy and pleased when we choose to do His will. ``Fireworks`` do not need to happen, but something beyond those ``fireworks`` do happen.<br /><br />2. The place of praise and worship is the place of real intimacy. It`s not in the song. It`s deep. I have learned to slow down and chill in God`s presence when situations are a bit tough and my goodness, that is the place of perfect clarity...quiet assurance forever. I love reading my bible in God`s Presence. I love just talking aka praying in God`s Presence and above all I love knowing something I said got corrected by the Holy Spirit :). You know, when you are upset and u ``bring it to God`s Presence`` and you end up ranting and speaking from a place of hatred and just plain vileness (sometimes without realizing because to you, everything is ok and back to normal) and God just gently but strongly (can`t really find the word, let`s say effectively) corrects you. I love chastisement from God. I love God telling me He loves me, I love God just being God and me just being who I am in His Presence. <br /><br />Try to soak more. I would really encourage you to do so. This is a note to myself as well :)<br /><br />3. Some people must have thought Abraham to be a "damn fool" walking around saying his name is no longer Abram but Abraham (changed from exalted/respected/highly-placed Father to Father of many [nations]). Urm...Abram suited him perfectly. As in, it was a name that perfectly described who he was at the time. Old, rich, with many servants and respect among his new neighbors. But for an old, aged, wrinkled man who didn't have a child with his own old, aged and wrinkled wife to change his name to father of many nations after a slave in his household bore a son for him must have looked a bit...well, too much in the eyes of his neighbors. More like delusional. I wonder if the thoughts people had in their hearts about his name change hurt him whenever he saw it in their eyes. Father of <span style="font-weight:bold;">many</span> nation<span style="font-weight:bold;">s</span>. And he believed. (His name change was from God, remember)<br /><br />And that is what faith is all about. Believing God would give you what he has promised even though others do not get it. And moving on in your faith. But what is God really telling you. Do you soak in His Presence. Do you seek Him just for who He is; honest curiosity should get you started you know. Do you honestly hear him or your self.<br /><br />4. I love God :) (Could not help ending it on that note, I don`t care if it sounds corny)<br /><br />P.s. my keyboard is refusing to cooperate so I can`t use the question mark key (for those wondering if I skipped primary school) :)<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4JK_6osCH74&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4JK_6osCH74&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-82054607223159739172010-04-09T02:46:00.000-07:002010-04-09T03:59:14.956-07:00Woohoo! Breakthrough!!!Hello Peoples!!!<br /><br />What's 'rappening???<br /><br />I'm in such a good mood this morning...wow!<br /><br />Ok, let me slow down and give you the background.<br /><br />I don't know if someone out there is going through this, or goes through it, "gets it", overcomes and is then back to phase one. But here it goes:<br /><br />So, since last year, God has been convicting me (intensely at that) of a particular sin. Again, people say big sin, small sin, all is sin, but sometimes, when it comes to you, you figure that somehow somehow, it really shouldn't matter at all and God can not seriously be sweating me over this issue. To me, there were other bigger matters...like growing my faith to believe I can pray over impossible problems and something would happen...I mean, there were just Other matters.<br /><br />This "little", "trivial" issue was more of a mental sin. I guess I did not attribute much importance to it because it wasn't an "action". Besides, when I got convicted, instead of facing it squarely, I went with the well, it's the devil's thoughts, not mine argument. FAIL.<br /><br />But mental sins are important. When I was talking to a friend who is now a pastor (still shocked), I was trying to articulate it to her to make her see that it was an impossibility and the words that came out of my mouth to describe it was "habits of the mind". I believe the Holy Spirit dropped that 'cause I wasn't being very articulate in the conversation if you ask me. But that phrase just captured the whole concept. Habits of the mind. I was asking my friend if God broke the old habits of her mind and she told me yes without missing a beat. We were quiet for a while, then she said, Yes, (my name), He did, believe me He would do it.<br /><br />But a part of me just wasn't placing much importance on it even though God would show me scripture like "But your iniquities have separated you from your God, And your sins have hidden his face from you, so that He will not hear." Hidden His face from me??? What??? and then I would freak out and ask for forgiveness for ALL things I may have done wrong but I just wasn't really repenting.<br /><br />He would say, "Guard your heart, for out of it flows the issue of life". I would agree, but...life goes on...<br /><br />He would say, "apply your heart to instruction, let your heart be wise and my heart would rejoice." That last part would get me sober, but by noon, I'm back to selfville.<br /><br />Yesterday in the afternoon, on my way back home, I was flipping through scripture on my bible and the Holy Spirit just had it in for me. I was playing with translations and the first one I picked was God's Word translation and just look what He said "You were taught to change the way you were living. The person you used to be would ruin you through desires that deceive you" (Eph 4:22). Prior to seeing this scripture God had been taking me on a tour of the bible showing me just how futile this life is and what was His desire for man. That scripture just hit the whole thing for me. Wow!<br /><br />I had to wean myself of the old mentality, and I did not know how. If you read <span style="font-style:italic;">Mind Purge</span>, you would probably see the inter battle going on in me. I didn't want to go through the "effort" of completely pretty much resetting my mind, my attitude, my view on life and apply it to God's own plan. That included my view on the future I had planned for myself. God wasn't scrapping it, but more like resetting a GPS device to its default setting (the inner setting designed by God, God's plan). And I knew it was going to be tough. That meant a lot of the ideals I have created for myself, the image I portray, everything about me and my life that I knew was going to be based on a completely different foundation. I guess what freaked me out the most was the realization that anything short of God's designs opened doors for demons. If you don't believe me... don't try it, I know. It's not fun to be accosted by demons, believe me. <br /><br />The thing there was that God told me in more ways than one that it would ruin me and He should me how demons would pretty much do it. He showed me through dreams, there are four that I clearly remember now. In one, an angel referred to it as the "bondage of sin and pride". I never thought of my thinking as bondage. Just last week, on the train to school, the Holy Spirit was ministering to my heart and as I came out of the subway station and I looked at people, I clearly understood what He meant. He used the word "enslavement", and another word that I can't completely articulate what he meant was "worth". He showed me my worth to Him that day. The worth of humanity to Him. Weeks earlier I had written down "Creation is beautiful, and the creation story is a love story", but I didn't completely get it till last week. I came home and God made me read Gen 1 (I said made, yes, there's a story behind that) and I cried. My goodness, crying over let there be light...<br /><br />If you can't tell, some serious revelation was going on and I could feel how God's heart was heavy, was bleeding for man. Just because of man. And all he wanted was for me to change my thinking so that I do not remain enslaved. I pray God shows you how, because I do not want to explain.<br /><br />But I didn't know just how. Just how to do it. To be practical, I had to ask how to begin. No clue!<br /><br />Today, God showed me Romans 5. I suggest you read the whole passage with the message translation. Heavy. I had heard this all of my life, but I just didn't grab (to use a Nigerian slang). And even now, I still do not grab the depths, but dang!<br /><br />Then God led me to a website and here's pretty much a summary I got from there on walking out of sin that I would like to share:<br /><br />The first point showed that our calling was completely and only, God's choice. We, in turn, have to remember His choice, His act of love and mercy every day of our lives. Brethren, never forget that our coming out of sin is an act of God!!!<br /><br />The second point involved choice, on our part, as to whether or not we will answer the calling. Many are called, but few are chosen.<br /><br />The third point involved power sharing—from God's right hand to ours. This power sharing is designed to give birth to choice, a choice on our part, to cooperate with God, in the salvation process.<br /><br />The fourth point discussed, remembering the right hand of God during the difficult periods of our life. Our journey will be marred with many difficulties and trials, which intellectually we know are designed to perfect us. However, these are some of the most difficult times to remember God's loving care. God assures us, as He did the Israelites, that by the power of His right hand He will see us through.<br /><br />The last point clearly showed that salvation is given by the most powerful hand in the universe—the right hand of God.<br /><br /><br /><br />Read more: http://bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Audio.Details/ID/1948/Gods-Right-Hand.htm#ixzz0kb7R59QH<br /><br />I suggest you go back and read to whole article.<br /><br />But more importantly, I pray that the veils on our hearts would be lifted so that we can get the revelation, and walk in God's wisdom.<br /><br />Best of the day!<br /><br />Much Love.<br /><br />P.s.: If you've fallen off, go back to seeking Him. You have no idea how much He desires you. Read that word again - Desire. He desires you more than you desire Him or could possibly do. In fact he says "My dove is hiding behind the rocks, behind an outcrop on the cliff. Let me see your face; let me hear your voice. For your voice is pleasant, and your face is lovely". There is nothing like a Father-daughter relationship, and nothing like a Father-son relationship (as God intends, cause some people have seen hell), and there's nothing like having that with your heavenly Father. Even Jesus said "For your heavenly Father loves you" (somewhere in John 15/16/17 lol). Go back to enjoying your <span style="font-weight:bold;">relationship</span> with your heavenly Father.TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-68964123323187189382010-04-06T00:14:00.000-07:002010-04-06T00:23:05.609-07:00Deep calls unto deepSo, you are at home or work. Restless, tired or maybe wanting to multi-task and you want to listen to good music, but you are about tired of what you have. Don't worry I have a 20 min treat for you. Just sit, plug in your earphone, or use your speakers, whatever works...and listen...<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/w1lTJUFHiOE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/w1lTJUFHiOE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-16614575604036351702010-04-05T21:10:00.000-07:002010-04-06T00:24:20.614-07:00Mind purgeI'm sharing/purging now...so prepare. Usually, I wait till God has worked out what He is doing at that stage in my life, but right now, I want to pour it out even as it is raw, and describe the emotions just as they are. It's a bit of a roller coaster, so prepare.<br /><br />P.s.: It may just be a bit incoherent, but I'm sure some of you have felt like this before, or you may even be in this place now.<br /><br />P.s.s.: Linda Ikeji, thanks for the thumbs up, it feels good, lol. But honestly, it does!<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Y4KiGN1j1No&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Y4KiGN1j1No&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />I want you.<br />I have never wanted anyone like this.<br />Never felt almost possessive, it is scary.<br />But I still want you,<br />More than anything else,<br />I just do not want the pain, the torture, the mental weaning that comes with self-sacrificing.<br /><br />You require self-sacrifice, and I understand now that you do not just demand it from me just because, <br />but because you love me so much, you desire truth in my inward parts.<br />You said if my heart is wise, your heart would rejoice.<br />You said I should apply my heart to your instruction, and not stay resolute and harden my heart.<br />And you know what, I want to.<br /><br />As I think about it, as I meditate on the Truth, on Life from your perspective, on your desires, I want to apply the whole of my heart to it. To live in it and to just BE in it.<br />But it is difficult!<br /><br />It is difficult to remain quiet when they just don't understand and it hurts.<br />Not just because of what they say, but because of who they are to me. It hurts.<br /><br />It is difficult to trust You and rest when I want to cry instead, and there's a voice telling me to give up and stick with what I know. It is difficult to ignore it even though I know it's the liar. How do I act like I never heard it in the first place? Like I didn't feel that way? It is difficult!<br /><br />It is difficult to pour out my affections on You constantly, and to set my love on you, when I also have other interests. Though, they are momentarily, I cannot deny I did not want to go back into the, for the lack of a better word, game.<br /><br />It is difficult.<br />It is difficult to deny the old man, the old creature, my flesh, it's desires.<br /><br />Then you tell me to trust you, and not myself.<br />Not my "strategizing", not my willpower, but You.<br /><br />Lord, I have never, ever trusted anyone with ALL of my heart before.<br />Just how do I begin?<br />What do I think?<br />My mind has a mind of its own, you know.<br />Really, just where do I start?<br /><br />Then you tell me all you want is for me to be willing. <br />You share with me even more secrets and my heart clenches violently within.<br />A piercing scream is held restrained on the inside, in my innermost parts.<br />I want you, but the pain...<br /><br />And I realize, I have not seen nothing yet. <br />But You are not oblivious, and I am not alone.<br />You have assured me of causing me to triumph in all things,<br />and You fill me with Peace, Your Peace, Your kind of Peace, in the midst of it all.<br /><br />There is still a general sense of sadness, soberness, anticipation...it's peaceful, it's calm, yet...<br /><br />But I LOVE You still, and I STILL want to be with you always.<br />Draw me closer Daddy.TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-38688097677478682072010-03-15T20:28:00.000-07:002010-03-15T22:29:25.388-07:00Some songsHello Y'all!!!<br /><br />It's been a long minute. Bloggers try oh, it's a real responsibility to this, some even do it daily. My hat's off to you.<br /><br />Oh well, I would like to share some of the songs that I play every now and then. See, this is important for me because when I started to pursue the knowledge of God and desire intimacy with Him, I found that I didn't like the worship songs that came my way because they were well...worship songs. Now, I'm not a huge rap fan, but bobby jones gospel wasn't really me either. It didn't take long for me to play my "regular" songs back then, that was what...about this time a year ago? Anyways, fast forward to now and I see how lust and sexual immorality can breed within us off the songs we listen to. I used to laugh it off, but I know it for sure now! Oh did I mention how I went clubbing in Lagos this past Christmas and well, lol, I could not club, I just couldn't do it. I could literally hear demons speak through the songs, I wanted to fleeeee...Ok, let me chill and tell you guys the whole story.<br /><br />Ok, So the day before Christmas eve, I remember b/c as my mom says, you cannot cheat sleep, and I learned that very well that day b/c "men of God" (ok, well, I guess they are) came in early in the morning and I had to come downstairs after roughly 2 hrs of sleep b/c I had just come in from clubbing, and my oh my, they had come to pray EARLY, ok 8 am, but still...and before I knew it, guests were coming in like crazy (we had a party that day), so I didn't go back to sleep till late, and I mean LATE. In fact I was in the middle of a friendly Canada vs. UK argument and I don't know how, what or when, but I just got up, went upstairs, and sleeeeppppptttt!!!. The next day, I saw my friend, she was in shock that I could just leave her like that and sleep, lol eya!<br /><br />Back to the story! Lol, so, my sister comes in and tells me my neighbor and some friends are going out, I'm like cool...<br /><br />She then asks if I'm coming. Now, I know one of them already thinks I'm a snob, and by the way, I was feeling restless so I said to myself, why not? Killing two birds w one stone right?<br /><br />So, I get dressed, we leave at midnight because, instead of getting dressed right after my sister came in, I fell asleep, only to wake up when everyone was downstairs. I should have know that was a sign and just allowed myself to sleep peacefully but no...<br /><br />So we leave, and ok, I'm not too good with the names of streets in Lagos, but I can describe it well well lol. Ok, so u know where Tribeca is and the other street at a right angle to it when u go turning at the roundabout? The Zenith bank one? Yep, we kept on going back and forth on those two streets for roughly two hours, parking and un-parking, dealing w traffic, and dealing w the police wanting to chat up a ride full of girls...not fun!<br /><br />When we got to a club, it would be drrrryyyy! Then we would leave and drive somewhere else (...no, we cannot be walking in heels like that; the distance is short when you are in a car, but when you are in heels, they are looonnggg). And as soon as we got else where, the place would be full of people...as in HUMANSSS, like a flood. The smell..ugh! Then someone would call and be like the place we just left is live, we would go back, by then it would be full of PEOPLEEEE hustling to enter...gosh! And we did that back and forth checking about about 3/4 (not sure) clubs on those two streets. Then some guys called us and said we should come to cliente (mehn, that one is full of gay people. I said it, therefore it is the official gay club), needless to say, in between very, very douchy pick-up lines, and a club full of sweating, dancing men and some women, we knew what time it was. Back to Tribeca...oh, at this point, I saw Ikechukwu and sauce-kid, I know they are supposedly hot, but they look scary in person, why was IK walking about shirtless???<br /><br />Oh well, back at tribeca's gate full of people, including two agbayas in a really really nice ride lol. But seriously, a guy that old and bald with protruding stomach should not be clubbing w girls 10/15/20 years younger. Felt weird. What was even weirder, was that I just hugged a friend, and when these guys drove in, she hug him and said "Hi, UNCLE!" I could not hide it...clubbing w ur uncle in the same club??? AWKWARD!!! But I guess it's normal for some people :)<br /><br />Ok, we got into Tribeca, the one people said was live about half an hour ago, and it was just...what it was. People sitting, smoking, looking pretty, looking tough, that's all. I could not hide my feelings any longer, I was hot, my make-up felt disgusting, my ankles were hurting, I was tired. Not funny at all!<br /><br />So, we left, and then a friend calls and says we should come to insomnia, off to Awolowo we go and ta-da, it's LIVE...one problem, JUVIES. I felt like a major agbaya! to top it off, we got to one of those lounges on the side and my juvies from high school, and not by a year, were in there, all HIGH, LOUD and OBNOXIOUS. I hugged them and acted cool, but seriously, I was out of place. My sister who got me out to club had the most irritated look on her face by that time. My neighbor on the other hand, found it funny. She was friends with them and that was the only seating area available so we had to chill. Around 5 am (we were in there for about an hour), we head back home, but first, after trying so hard to drag my neighbor out. Worst night out ever. I told some of my friends, I guess God seriously had it in for me that night. Sorry, for those in my entourage, they had to "suffer" for me. It was a Jonah situation. They next time they went out, I didn't. I sat my ass at home, in fact, I was sleeping when they were leaving and I heard they had fun...guess my clubbing days are truly, truly officially over.<br /><br />But back to the main point, while at insonmia, where all I could do was sit, I understood the power behind songs. They minister. It was like bellowing commands out to people and watching them act like a bunch of puppets. Now, I don't mean to be harsh, if you can't tell, I used to club, no I used to paarrrtayy lol. I can't remember what the song was but when it came on, it was like perversity just poured itself over the people, and let me get this point through. My Nigerian male friends in Toronto would tell u that in Toronto, the girls are wild. When you go clubbing, it's always "live". A guy said this in plain english: it disgusts him the way they flirt and club, and this guy is far from being "holy" lol. You get my point. Now, for a hot blooded Nigerian male in his 20s to say that, you realize the "background in clubbing" I had in mind, so to see these people go off like that, it was...different. And when the song wound down, the "thing" whatever it was that was in the air was still there but it was like coming out of a climax. I was done, I was ready to goooo. Songs do minister to people's soul. <br /><br />I remember my first couple of months and when God was leading me off the songs on my playlist, I fought it hard. Then one day, I went on youtube, I don't remember what song it was but as soon as I began to play it, I felt a shift in my insides. Even my lower waist that I wasn't paying any attention to prior to when I played the song felt so sexy, all I wanted to do was whine. I wanted to CLUB. By the way, I don't pay particular attention to any body part, but in that moment, it felt, for a lack of a better word, highlighted.<br /><br /><br />Pretty much, what you feed the spirit of your mind do matter, and that said, here are some of the songs that I would like to share:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">BeBe and CeCe Winans - Grace</span>: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEU86TsUDWE<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tye Tribbett and the GA - Son of Man</span>: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzQuwfoeTx8<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tye Tribbett and the GA - Chasing after you:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrDqi7HQzUc<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Misty Edwards - Arms wide open :</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2ZCIp0HiRo<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Knine - Never Alone:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TDCGdwcsOM<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Ambassador - Gimme that:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rytwGHd3iDw<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Paul Wilbur - Let the weight of your glory:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68vJoH3GLJo<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Paul Wilbur - For your name is Holy:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6FE8d05vpE<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Manafest - Everytime you run:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-egyFN9aS0 <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Manafest - Avalanche:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QfhhbRy05A<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Chris Tomlin - How great is our God:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OsyiGgSlqY&feature=fvw<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Chris Tomlin - Indescribable:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-zJHgaoVa4<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Paul Wilbur - Days of Elijah:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra4HWj1jrJA<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Paul Wilbur - The Shout of El Shaddai:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDhIOpnyVZE&feature=related<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Donnie McClurkin - I call you Faithful:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VMAdu-HKQ8<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Donnie McClurkin - We fall down:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0tX_ctp0Gs<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Flame - To my heart:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Stl1W2ArK-Y<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Marvin Sapp - Never could have made it:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWrGjzBheno<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Vicki Yohe - Because of who you are:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6WexG9uAJI&feature=related<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">unknown - Draw me close to you:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLNL49TFC_8&feature=fvw<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hillsong - We the redeemed:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzDLLd21FjU<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hillsong - Yahweh:</span>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRIRrMcVb6I<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hillsong - I will exalt You:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoUy88Pcf90<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hillsong - And his glory appears:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVNWCATP1WU<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hillsong - desert song:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE33ejdgWIY<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hillsong - All I need is you:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-UDWk6e_aE<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Todd Bangz - Not for me:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7rd3us-mBE<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Todd Bangz - Breathe you last</span> (can't find it on utube)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Phanatik - Shot Clock:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZXQQ0_hiyI<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hillsong (Brooke Fraser) - Nothing but the blood of Jesus:</span> http://www.youtube.com/watch?<br />v=iBlAD3lxRrc<br /><br />Ahhhh.......there's more, but dang, that's a lot!<br /><br />And finally, check out this site: www.myspiritualchemistry.comTheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-8757953754037281282010-03-15T19:31:00.000-07:002010-03-15T20:23:58.308-07:00I am naked before you (My heart is fragile)My heart...<br />My real heart...<br />The one that's hidden, deeply buried underneath the clothes, the external gestures, the words that come out of my seemingly harmless lips, underneath the icy, sometimes ambiguous eyes, clothed beneath layers of Nefertiti-like pride. That heart is fragile.<br /><br />Fragile because she is precious,<br />she wishes to remain unmaimed,<br />she wishes to love and be loved<br />but never feel pain, never know loss, insecurity, hurt.<br /><br />But she is not hidden from you,<br />and if I think her to be extremely precious, you deem her to be worth more. <br />You deem me to be worth more.<br />What can I give in exchange for a soul? All the wealth of the world?<br /><br />Why did you create man to be so? Is that your image?<br />Is that how you are? How you feel?<br /><br />Then you must be brave to love me. <br /><br />To love us all.TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-67961905948274553402010-01-26T15:11:00.000-08:002010-01-26T15:47:46.400-08:00OPEN HEART SURGERY by James MacDonald<span style="font-style:italic;">I want to share from my devotional, hope it helps you as much as it has helped me</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.</span><br />Hebrews 3:7-8<br /><br />I had heart surgery this week. Not the blood-pumping, valve-oriented, physical kind; my soul went under the scalpel that pierces the soul and judges the thoughts and intentions of the heart. The passage I was looking at was in Mark 4, the parable of the sower and soils. This story is about one thing - how the Word of God intersects a person's heart.<br /><br />Jesus compares our hearts to different conditions of soil. The first is the hard heart: "These are the ones who are beside the road where the Word is sown; and when they hear, immediately Satan comes and the Word which has been sown in them" (Mark 4:15, NASB). Maybe you can relate. Do you find yourself saying, "I read God's Word and an hour later I can't remember what it said"? Diagnosis: You have a hard heart. The soil is so packed down that as soon as the seed is sown, the enemy snatches it away.<br /><br />"But how did my heart get so hard?" Consider these four ways:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The first way to harden your heart is to run.</span> If when you feel convicted by God's Word you say, "I don't want this" and shut down, after a while your heart's going to get hard.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Another way to harden your heart is to deny what you hear</span>. You know that God wants you to forgive people who hurt you, but you refuse to. Instead you carry around a bag of bitterness, denying or rationalizing why God's command doesn't apply to you.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Maybe your heart's distracted</span>. You hear God's Word but you think about someone else who needs it instead.<br /><br />But here's what concerns me most: <span style="font-weight:bold;">sometimes your heart is hardened by apathy.</span> You say "amen" in church or, "Yes, pastor, what you're teaching is true and we really need to hear it," but then you go out and do nothing about it.<br /><br />How willing are you to receive truth and sort through whatever you have to in order to get to the parts that God would say to you? The test is how you respond to truth.<br /><br />So if your heart is open, I encourage you to do a self-exam. Ask God to show you your heart's condition and give you insight into how you might grow. This kind of heart surgery brings healing and life. Receive the seed of God's truth; allow it to sink into the soft soil of a tender heart toward God.<br /><br />Journal:<br /><br />What's the condition of my heart? Hard? Distracted? Apathetic?<br /><br />How willing am I to receive truth?<br /><br />Prayer:<br /><br />Lord, do what You must to break up the hard ground around my heart. Show me where I must humble myself and then help me to do it. <br /><br />I want your healing and life inside of me. Thank You in advance for the fullness of Your Spirit alive in me. Amen.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">By James MacDonald. Open Heart Surgery in Our Journey (November 2009).</span><br /><br />The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul<br />The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple<br />The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart<br />The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes<br />The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever<br />The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether,<br />More to be desired are they than gold,<br />Yea, than much fine gold;<br />Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.<br />Moreover by them Your servant is warned,<br />And in keeping them there is great reward.<br /><br />Psalm 19:7-11TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-87315095783814116682010-01-26T14:41:00.000-08:002010-01-26T14:56:48.455-08:00Psalm 21This Princess shall have joy in Your strength, O Lord;<br />and in Your salvation how greatly shall I rejoice!<br /><br />You have given me my heart's desire,<br />and have not withheld the request of my lips.<br /><br />For You meet me with the blessings of goodness;<br />You set a crown of pure gold upon my head.<br /><br />I asked Life from You, and You gave it to me-<br />Length of days forever and ever.<br /><br />My glory is great in Your salvation;<br />honor and majesty you have placed upon me.<br /><br />For You have made me most blessed forever;<br />You have made me exceedingly glad with You presence.<br /><br />For this Princess trusts in the Lord,<br />and through the mercy of the Most High I shall not be moved<br /><br />Be exalted, O Lord, in Your own strength!<br />We will sing and praise Your power.<br /><br /><br />You are beautiful!<br /><br /><br /><object width="640" height="505"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/U0luHiWwi08&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/U0luHiWwi08&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="505"></embed></object>TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-25175326838332175512009-08-26T11:11:00.000-07:002009-08-26T13:23:00.830-07:00For the love of the Father...!The love of the Father. I’ve wondered how exactly I’m going to write about this because it is the easiest, yet the hardest thing to get. So, I decided to sit it out for a bit, and focus on every other thing I have to do, which is a lot. Then my aunt comes home one day and says: “You have not put anything up!” That’s when I knew the sitting out was done. But even now, I still do not know how to get it out right.<br /><br />Anyways, let’s start with this passage, Ezekiel 14: 1 – 5:<br /><br />1 Now some of the elders of Israel came to me and sat before me. 2 And the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 3 “Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their hearts, and put before them that which causes them to stumble into iniquity. Should I let Myself be inquired of at all by them? 4 “Therefore speak to them, and say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD: “Everyone of the house of Israel who sets up his idols in his heart, and puts before him what causes him to stumble into iniquity, and then comes to the prophet, I the LORD will answer him who comes, according to the multitude of his idols, 5 that I may seize the house of Israel by their heart, because they are all estranged from Me by their idols.”’<br /><br />Isn’t that typical of present day Christianity? We come to God’s presence, not thinking there is anything wrong with us, yet we harbor idols in our hearts. It’s not about physical idols; it’s the inner idols. Forget TV and fashion and all the things they teach in Sunday school. I’m talking about us. We are our own idols. The images we ascribe to, our visions for our future, in our interactions with people, from that cute boy/girl to the ignorant/annoying person you cannot stand. In our own way, we have become our idols, and we sacrifice the wealth, health and many blessings God has given us to worship ourselves, like real idol worshippers do. Just stop to think about it. We are not very conscious of ‘Self’, that we do not know when we cross that line, but we do that under the guise of making good impressions when we know it’s to attract whatever it is we wish to attract, or to put someone in their place, or to feed into this image of ourselves we’ve created. Either way, our minds finds itself revolving around this image of “self”, the god we are not conscious of. A bit too deep eh?<br /><br />It’s ok to have aspirations and dreams, and we MUST beautify ourselves, ain’t nothing wrong with wigs and weaves and a bit of color here and there. We must have self-esteem and love ourselves for sure, but we do it, most times, to ascribe to this image of ourselves we have created. Remember in revelation, how Jesus was admonishing the church in Ephesus? They were Christians, and goods ones too. In fact, Jesus said they could not bear those who were evil, but they had departed from their first love even while doing the things they should with all of their might. If you ask me, I think they got the highest mark among the other 6 churches. They loved the things of God, but the love of God? Their first love? It was slowly being replaced by the love for something else. As God puts it, we draw near to Him with our mouths, but our hearts are far off. It may not be self, however, I choose to focus on self in this post because it is the common god that we are unaware of.<br /><br />I got to understand this a while ago when I was battling the seeming dilemma between self-esteem and pride on one hand, and the love of the Father on the other. I am not snobby and intolerant of people, but God was constantly talking to me about pride and I just did not get. Over time, as He led me, He showed me I treated myself exactly as I described above, and this had a spillover effect on the way I treated others. Then I was worried! Not because I did not want to listen to God, but I felt that the unraveling I needed to do was at the expense of my image. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel like than the lady I know I am when I’m feeling and looking my worst. I just felt that it is impossible to love God and to not love myself, and in the process, end up ‘worshiping’ myself like I did. Then I came across this verse 1 John 2:15-16:<br /><br />15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh (<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">love of the world 1</span>), the lust of the eyes (<span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">love of the world 2</span>), and the pride of life (<span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">love of the world 3</span>)—<span style="font-weight: bold;">is not of the Father but is of the world.</span> 17 And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.<br /><br />Focus on things of the world for now. The problem was not worshiping that image of ourselves per se, but it had its roots in the love of the things of this world. From lust, to the lust for things we desire (e.g. wealth, diamonds, cars, power, highly-placed positions etc), and the pride of life (hmm!!!). Think about it, when you put on that dress and it slides and fits on you like it does, and then you put on your stilettos, do that makeup that gets you looking and feeling like a sexy diva, use that perfume or that mixture of perfumes…isn’t all that coming from the 3 things John outlines that makes up the love of the things of the world? Doesn’t it translate into everything else, from your walk, to the kind of mannerism when you talk, and even to your very persona? You know you don’t act the same way everyday, so don’t even say, my clothes do not define me. No, they don’t, but the end you seek does. We don’t even know what/why we seek, but for sure our minds are attracted to the lust for that hot co-worker (love of the world 1), lust for that position (love of the world 2), and absolute confidence in our abilities, or way of handling things or people (love of the world 3). The problem with all that, as John points out is that we do not have the love of the father in us (the two cannot coexist). Our “love for God” ends at the emotion, or the high we feel after church on Sundays. Does not really mean much.<br /><br />John 5: 39-42 talks about us, not just the ancient Jews. “39 You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. 40 But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life. 41 “I do not receive honor from men. 42 But I know you, that you do not have the love of God in you”. We seek God, we seek righteousness or rather the idea of righteousness and the idea of being saved and completely forgiven; yet we lack God’s love in us. But Jesus is saying, I do not receive honor from men, he does not need our seeking and "righteousness”. What is more important for us is that we must have that love of the father IN us. Not around us, but in us. Yet we do not love him. We hear what he says to us, but we do not do it, because we do not honor him. The bible says it clearly, that we do not honor him because we do not love him.<br /><br />I did not want to accept it, and in Junkie fashion, I tried to prove to God that I can still see and go about life like I’ve been doing, and it does not mean I do not love God. Now that I admit it, it sounds stupid. But that was the direction my mind immediately went, without even realizing it. Months later, I’m back to square one and trying to figure out the junk I must move out, and all the things I tolerate in my life that takes out the love of the father. Thing is the love of the father makes you want to honor him. Think about it. True love translates into honor, not infatuations, but love, the kind that comes with respect. Think about the relationship with your child, that love for your child translates into you doing things that honor that child. From picking your child’s school, monitoring your child’s friends, everything is all about honoring that child and that child’s best interests. Basically, you’ve got their back, they can rely on your love, because of the honor you have shown to them. I did not see the way my mom brought me up as honor, as my mom is a correct African woman + we see honor as something that comes with age and should be earned. And rightly so, but sometimes, we give honor to people who have not earned it (like that ex-boyfriend). The person you give honor to in your life, is the person who carries much weight in your life. From what they say, to what they do, it has a bearing on you. If my mother tells me to come home early even if I want to hang out w/people I have not seen in ages, I would cut my meeting short, not because of fear, but because I honor her. My own pleasure takes 2nd place. That kind of honor does not happen to bosses or leaders you dislike, then you are just obeying orders, but honor lies in true love and respect. And when we choose instead to love the things that war against God and what He wants in our lives, we truly do not have the love of the father in us. <br /><br />Even Jesus preached it while he was on earth. If you love me, you would keep my commandment. Too often we focus on the don’ts when all Jesus says is love the Lord your God, with all your heart…and your neighbor as yourself. The command is simply to love. But we focus on fornication, lies etc, and yet do not do his will. We do not even bother to find out his will for us in every aspect of our lives, how then can he be Lord over us as we profess? It is simply to love. To love God, and other people. And if we keep His commandments, we abide in his love, just as Jesus kept the father’s commandments and abide in his love. See we cannot do the things of God without loving him, that’s why we keep sliding off.<br /><br />That love is not emotional, it is genuine. It is not the infatuation many Christians have with God, it is genuine love that seeks to honor him in our lives, seeking His will and obeying Him easily. That does not happen without the love of the father.<br /><br />This love, what is it? 2 John 1:6: 6 This is love, that we walk according to His commandments. This is the commandment, that as you have heard from the beginning, you should walk in it.<br /><br />It is simple, love the father, obey him, honor him. We love those things that God opposes on a constant basis but it is natural to walk in the love of our father if we agree we were created by him, and in his image knowing he is LOVE. It is bondage to walk in sin, but in his love, shunning sin does not mean bondage. Paul puts it like this, the things of God are not troublesome but our minds have held us in bondage. That’s why we keep slipping, and feeling like a Christian today and nothing like that tomorrow. By having the love of the father in us, we seek to honor him; our minds cannot tie us down. Too often we focus on the don’ts, but how do you grow when you do not commune with him more than our daily bread. Love creates that hunger and thirst for him, his presence, his clear directions. Seek after him, it is the love for him that leads you on, but begin your search, don’t focus on getting your mind right. You’ve been trying to do that all these years, when would you realize you can’t do it yourself, and neither is it going to happen when you are married. Find him now, when he can still be found. Allow him to be as real to you as the computer in front of you.<br /><br />In closing, this is my prayer for you “May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and the patience of Christ” (2 Thess 3:5). Amen.<br /><br />Best of the week!<span style="display: block;" id="formatbar_Buttons"><span class="on" style="display: block;" id="formatbar_CreateLink" title="Link" onmouseover="ButtonHoverOn(this);" onmouseout="ButtonHoverOff(this);" onmouseup="" onmousedown="CheckFormatting(event);FormatbarButton('richeditorframe', this, 8);ButtonMouseDown(this);"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif" alt="Link" class="gl_link" border="0" /></span></span><br /><br />p.s. You can now <a href="http://apps.facebook.com/blognetworks/blog/the_struggling_christian/">follow this blog</a> on facebook.TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7969182999372878257.post-26937958310034753262009-08-17T15:12:00.000-07:002009-08-17T17:40:08.686-07:00I'm a christian, I don't just feel like oneThe moment I first believed, how did my heart get captured? I've tried to recollect it, kind of like the Holy Spirit pouring the love of God in our hearts as Paul describes it. Nothing is like that moment, but I hardly remember what it felt like right now.<br /><br />I still do the 'basics' don't get me wrong, I try to worship, study the word, I even pray for the unsaved, even those I do not know, but I just don't feel like God is actually really really around me. I don't even know if I'm backsliding. Hell, I'm not...I don't do the things I used to..well, some, but I see those habits differently now, my mind has changed I tell you, yet I just feel OK doing them again - they just do not seem as bad, may be I took things too far thinking they were so wrong!<br /><br />I was listening to Chris Tomlin's version of amazing grace this morning, and what stood out to me was that line 'the moment I first believed'. I remember the feeling I just described, and feeling that way time and time again. My journey so far has been a real roller coaster. Today, I feel saved, sanctified and Holy Ghost filled, tomorrow and may be next tomorrow I just don't care as much, as may be next week, I pray about that flu that I'm coming down with and it just vanishes. But why don't I just go from 'glory to glory'. How come I sometimes feel apathetic towards the things I was yearning for just days ago, when I vowed to never turn back. I know I did not make a conscious decision to 'turn back', but I feel as though I've lost it somehow. People tell me, "nooo, that's not you, that's the devil putting those thoughts in your head, influencing your thinking. Take authority!". But they just don't get it, they do not know I feel genuinely apathetic, even though I should know better. Some say "You got saved, but your mind is warring against you - you have to renew it everyday, die to the flesh!". Yes, but still...I don't know!<br /><br />I do not have all the answers, but I know for sure I'm not the only one that has had to deal with those frustrations, and as I thought about the title for this blog, all of a sudden, 'the struggling christian' stood out to me. I had written about it a while ago in my journal, and there is a lot to say about it, but I'll try to narrow it all down.<br /><br />Oh, and those advice I got, they were 'legit', but as with all the things of God, it's the Spirit that has to work within us that gets us that 'understanding' and peace. We cannot do it ourselves.<br /><br />As I struggled through those moments when I thought I did something and so God has left me, and even after asking for forgiveness, I felt as though He is not coming back (I know Christianity 101 teaches otherwise, but when you feel that way, sometimes you don't believe it), I would come across scripture like "...if one walks in darkness, he stumbles, because the light is not in him" (John 11:10) and "the lamp of the body is the eye, if the eye is good, your whole body would be full of light,...if therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" (Matt. 6:23), and I would freak out! Because I don't want to be that person, but I do not know what I am doing wrong.<br /><br />The Spirit has taught me, what He tried to in the above verses that I ran away from, that the mind is where it all lies. My mind (the eye with which I see the world) was bad, and so even as I grew in the things of God, I just did not carry it on the rest of the day and with time I became lost and felt disconnected. Obvious, but it was not so easy. Maybe when we read scripture like that, we do not want to believe it's us because we are good. And truly, we are, but we don't truly know ourselves, do we? We carry on the air of independence and confidence in our abilities, nice to people, we take care of haters (for lack of a 'better' word) w/out having to stoop down to their level, we generally handle our business like good, mature people/Christians. But good people does not equal godly people, and 'saved' people does not equal godly people, heck, do you even know for sure you are saved?<br /><br /><br /><br />God puts it in a way that I like in Isaiah 28: 9-13<br /><br /><br /><br />“ Whom will he teach knowledge? And whom will he make to understand the message?<br /><br />Those just weaned from milk? Those just drawn from the breasts?<br /><br />10 For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept,<br /><br />Line upon line, line upon line, Here a little, there a little.”<br /><br />11 For with stammering lips and another tongue, He will speak to this people,<br /><br />12 To whom He said, “This is the rest with which you may cause the weary to rest,” And, “This is the refreshing”; Yet they would not hear.<br /><br />13 But the word of the LORD was to them, “ Precept upon precept, precept upon precept, Line upon line, line upon line, Here a little, there a little,” That they might go and fall backward, and be broken and snared and caught.<br /><br /><br /><br />This passage was so refreshing at the time I read it, that I had to ask God out loud: "so You knew?" Thing is, we have just been drawn from the breast, what ever that breast was, whatever it was that our minds were so accustomed to, we have been drawn away from it, but we just do not know exactly where we are going, or what we are doing - our minds cannot stretch beyond its present boundaries. And as we learn, we have those moments when we are actually growing in the Spirit, and we feel it, but then, it becomes repetitive, some people then 'fit God into a routine', we do not have the understanding for scripture we keep coming across, we try to analyze it ourselves, we know something is missing, something is going horribly wrong, yet we cannot place a finger on it. Our Christianity is simply: precept upon precept, line upon line, here a little, there a little.<br /><br />The funny thing about it is that God says with stammering lips and another tongue, He speaks to this people. I just got the understanding right now. Basically, God keeps repeating himself like babies do, till we understand, because that is the only way that we get it, as baby Christians. He keeps saying da da, ma ma, ta ta, yet we want to fly when we do not know how to crawl. We want to quote the quoteables and break down scripture, but we are still yet to get the ta ta and the da da, and in time, we lose that fire.<br /><br />But really why do we just not get it. If you read the verses before verse 9, God talks about his people, the ones set apart to be used by him (that applies to all Christians btw..) being swallowed up by wine, erring in vision, stumbling in judgment. But more than that, the tables are filthy, covered up in vomit. That is our mind. The filthy table. How can a student learn with that kind of table, the vomit would find its way to the pages of the book, making the book unreadable. We read the Word, but we do not see it, we do not understand. Our minds do not let it happen. But we go on, and inevitably, we fall backwards, become broken and snared and caught. We then want to call up our friends that a month ago we decided to spend less time with, we find ourselves back in clubs, grinding away and drinking ourselves to stupor. Some become simply restless, trying to study the Word, but it feels like beating a dead horse. Those thoughts are forming in our minds again and we are saying "get behind me satan", but uh uh...to where?<br /><br />In essence, we are not bad people, but our minds are carnal. Our 'eyes' are bad, and great darkness dwells within such that we do not feel like Christians, like we did the hour we first believed. But God is looking at us, as we struggle in our own blood and saying to us 'Live!' (Ez 16). We must gird up the loins of our mind, and refuse to conform to the former lusts, as we did in the days of our ignorance (1 Peter 1:13), resisting the devil, knowing that other Christians experience the same. (1 Peter 5:8-10). But importantly, and this has helped me a lot, pray to God bluntly...stop manufacturing lines that sound like 'prayer lines' and just talk to Him. I tell God straight up, "today Lord, I feel like I'm one step away, I was even thinking about him, that him, I don't know why I do these things, but I know I shouldn't, I was thinking it throughout, but everything reminded me of him. I could even smell him, but it's all lust, now even my hormones are all worked up, I truly feel 1 step away from feeling completely lost, I don't even understand all I've read all morning, where are you? Speak peace to me, and bring me back to where I should be." That does not sound like the prayer that comes from the pulpit on Sundays, but it is a prayer. Allow yourself to be intimate w/your God, your Father. I tell you, he is reaaaaally real.<br /><br />But if there's nothing else you get from this blog, get this: the need the love of the father in you. I'll talk more about that in the next blog.<br /><br />And remember, it is only diligent people who find him. Enjoy the rest of your journey.<br /><br />Much love!!!TheJunkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06621366953847231030noreply@blogger.com6