I had the opportunity (thank God!) to deal with an unexpected heart situation that led to a somewhat difficult decision. Not going to into details, but it was a situation that was so right, so perfect, but when I came to God for the approval that I expected, the first thing I heard was "You know I want what's best for you...". That first line shook me so hard, my heart froze and the rest of what God was saying I just could not catch.
God did not leave me though, He was still there answering my prayers and just sticking with me, but by His grace, He got me to a point of surrender, where I needed to rest in Him and have a honest heart-to-heart conversation with Him.
He told me to read Psalm 81. My heart melted, but see, the hardness did not just leave. But I did notice one thing, as I responded to God in prayers and in my actions, my mind shifted. I learned an important lesson. The Spirit helps us as we respond to God in obedience. At the end of the day, it is really not us doing the "obedience", but the Spirit of God in us. He however leaves us with the right to choose to stop obeying and to return to a stiff, hardened, in-submissive heart.
This is where we have to be extra careful, because the devil would not let the thoughts of what you wanted or why it was ok to have whatever it was, to just leave you. We have to remain yielded in the Spirit to God and then the devil would flee. "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (James 4:7, bible.cc).
Finally, the heart may want what it wants, but at the end of the day, " "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything." (1 Corinthians 6:12, bible.cc). So what are you struggling with? Or what are you struggling to ask God about in the first place? He only wants the best for you, so rest secure in His love and let go of that covetousness in the name of Jesus. Amen.
