Some songs

Hello Y'all!!!

It's been a long minute. Bloggers try oh, it's a real responsibility to this, some even do it daily. My hat's off to you.

Oh well, I would like to share some of the songs that I play every now and then. See, this is important for me because when I started to pursue the knowledge of God and desire intimacy with Him, I found that I didn't like the worship songs that came my way because they were well...worship songs. Now, I'm not a huge rap fan, but bobby jones gospel wasn't really me either. It didn't take long for me to play my "regular" songs back then, that was what...about this time a year ago? Anyways, fast forward to now and I see how lust and sexual immorality can breed within us off the songs we listen to. I used to laugh it off, but I know it for sure now! Oh did I mention how I went clubbing in Lagos this past Christmas and well, lol, I could not club, I just couldn't do it. I could literally hear demons speak through the songs, I wanted to fleeeee...Ok, let me chill and tell you guys the whole story.

Ok, So the day before Christmas eve, I remember b/c as my mom says, you cannot cheat sleep, and I learned that very well that day b/c "men of God" (ok, well, I guess they are) came in early in the morning and I had to come downstairs after roughly 2 hrs of sleep b/c I had just come in from clubbing, and my oh my, they had come to pray EARLY, ok 8 am, but still...and before I knew it, guests were coming in like crazy (we had a party that day), so I didn't go back to sleep till late, and I mean LATE. In fact I was in the middle of a friendly Canada vs. UK argument and I don't know how, what or when, but I just got up, went upstairs, and sleeeeppppptttt!!!. The next day, I saw my friend, she was in shock that I could just leave her like that and sleep, lol eya!

Back to the story! Lol, so, my sister comes in and tells me my neighbor and some friends are going out, I'm like cool...

She then asks if I'm coming. Now, I know one of them already thinks I'm a snob, and by the way, I was feeling restless so I said to myself, why not? Killing two birds w one stone right?

So, I get dressed, we leave at midnight because, instead of getting dressed right after my sister came in, I fell asleep, only to wake up when everyone was downstairs. I should have know that was a sign and just allowed myself to sleep peacefully but no...

So we leave, and ok, I'm not too good with the names of streets in Lagos, but I can describe it well well lol. Ok, so u know where Tribeca is and the other street at a right angle to it when u go turning at the roundabout? The Zenith bank one? Yep, we kept on going back and forth on those two streets for roughly two hours, parking and un-parking, dealing w traffic, and dealing w the police wanting to chat up a ride full of girls...not fun!

When we got to a club, it would be drrrryyyy! Then we would leave and drive somewhere else (...no, we cannot be walking in heels like that; the distance is short when you are in a car, but when you are in heels, they are looonnggg). And as soon as we got else where, the place would be full of people...as in HUMANSSS, like a flood. The smell..ugh! Then someone would call and be like the place we just left is live, we would go back, by then it would be full of PEOPLEEEE hustling to enter...gosh! And we did that back and forth checking about about 3/4 (not sure) clubs on those two streets. Then some guys called us and said we should come to cliente (mehn, that one is full of gay people. I said it, therefore it is the official gay club), needless to say, in between very, very douchy pick-up lines, and a club full of sweating, dancing men and some women, we knew what time it was. Back to Tribeca...oh, at this point, I saw Ikechukwu and sauce-kid, I know they are supposedly hot, but they look scary in person, why was IK walking about shirtless???

Oh well, back at tribeca's gate full of people, including two agbayas in a really really nice ride lol. But seriously, a guy that old and bald with protruding stomach should not be clubbing w girls 10/15/20 years younger. Felt weird. What was even weirder, was that I just hugged a friend, and when these guys drove in, she hug him and said "Hi, UNCLE!" I could not hide it...clubbing w ur uncle in the same club??? AWKWARD!!! But I guess it's normal for some people :)

Ok, we got into Tribeca, the one people said was live about half an hour ago, and it was just...what it was. People sitting, smoking, looking pretty, looking tough, that's all. I could not hide my feelings any longer, I was hot, my make-up felt disgusting, my ankles were hurting, I was tired. Not funny at all!

So, we left, and then a friend calls and says we should come to insomnia, off to Awolowo we go and ta-da, it's LIVE...one problem, JUVIES. I felt like a major agbaya! to top it off, we got to one of those lounges on the side and my juvies from high school, and not by a year, were in there, all HIGH, LOUD and OBNOXIOUS. I hugged them and acted cool, but seriously, I was out of place. My sister who got me out to club had the most irritated look on her face by that time. My neighbor on the other hand, found it funny. She was friends with them and that was the only seating area available so we had to chill. Around 5 am (we were in there for about an hour), we head back home, but first, after trying so hard to drag my neighbor out. Worst night out ever. I told some of my friends, I guess God seriously had it in for me that night. Sorry, for those in my entourage, they had to "suffer" for me. It was a Jonah situation. They next time they went out, I didn't. I sat my ass at home, in fact, I was sleeping when they were leaving and I heard they had fun...guess my clubbing days are truly, truly officially over.

But back to the main point, while at insonmia, where all I could do was sit, I understood the power behind songs. They minister. It was like bellowing commands out to people and watching them act like a bunch of puppets. Now, I don't mean to be harsh, if you can't tell, I used to club, no I used to paarrrtayy lol. I can't remember what the song was but when it came on, it was like perversity just poured itself over the people, and let me get this point through. My Nigerian male friends in Toronto would tell u that in Toronto, the girls are wild. When you go clubbing, it's always "live". A guy said this in plain english: it disgusts him the way they flirt and club, and this guy is far from being "holy" lol. You get my point. Now, for a hot blooded Nigerian male in his 20s to say that, you realize the "background in clubbing" I had in mind, so to see these people go off like that, it was...different. And when the song wound down, the "thing" whatever it was that was in the air was still there but it was like coming out of a climax. I was done, I was ready to goooo. Songs do minister to people's soul.

I remember my first couple of months and when God was leading me off the songs on my playlist, I fought it hard. Then one day, I went on youtube, I don't remember what song it was but as soon as I began to play it, I felt a shift in my insides. Even my lower waist that I wasn't paying any attention to prior to when I played the song felt so sexy, all I wanted to do was whine. I wanted to CLUB. By the way, I don't pay particular attention to any body part, but in that moment, it felt, for a lack of a better word, highlighted.


Pretty much, what you feed the spirit of your mind do matter, and that said, here are some of the songs that I would like to share:

BeBe and CeCe Winans - Grace: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEU86TsUDWE

Tye Tribbett and the GA - Son of Man: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzQuwfoeTx8

Tye Tribbett and the GA - Chasing after you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrDqi7HQzUc

Misty Edwards - Arms wide open : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2ZCIp0HiRo

Knine - Never Alone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TDCGdwcsOM

The Ambassador - Gimme that: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rytwGHd3iDw

Paul Wilbur - Let the weight of your glory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68vJoH3GLJo

Paul Wilbur - For your name is Holy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6FE8d05vpE

Manafest - Everytime you run: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-egyFN9aS0

Manafest - Avalanche: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QfhhbRy05A

Chris Tomlin - How great is our God: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OsyiGgSlqY&feature=fvw

Chris Tomlin - Indescribable: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-zJHgaoVa4

Paul Wilbur - Days of Elijah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra4HWj1jrJA

Paul Wilbur - The Shout of El Shaddai: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDhIOpnyVZE&feature=related

Donnie McClurkin - I call you Faithful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VMAdu-HKQ8

Donnie McClurkin - We fall down: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0tX_ctp0Gs

Flame - To my heart: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Stl1W2ArK-Y

Marvin Sapp - Never could have made it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWrGjzBheno

Vicki Yohe - Because of who you are: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6WexG9uAJI&feature=related

unknown - Draw me close to you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLNL49TFC_8&feature=fvw

Hillsong - We the redeemed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzDLLd21FjU

Hillsong - Yahweh:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRIRrMcVb6I

Hillsong - I will exalt You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoUy88Pcf90

Hillsong - And his glory appears: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVNWCATP1WU

Hillsong - desert song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE33ejdgWIY

Hillsong - All I need is you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-UDWk6e_aE

Todd Bangz - Not for me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7rd3us-mBE

Todd Bangz - Breathe you last (can't find it on utube)

Phanatik - Shot Clock: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZXQQ0_hiyI

Hillsong (Brooke Fraser) - Nothing but the blood of Jesus: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=iBlAD3lxRrc

Ahhhh.......there's more, but dang, that's a lot!

And finally, check out this site: www.myspiritualchemistry.com

I am naked before you (My heart is fragile)

My heart...
My real heart...
The one that's hidden, deeply buried underneath the clothes, the external gestures, the words that come out of my seemingly harmless lips, underneath the icy, sometimes ambiguous eyes, clothed beneath layers of Nefertiti-like pride. That heart is fragile.

Fragile because she is precious,
she wishes to remain unmaimed,
she wishes to love and be loved
but never feel pain, never know loss, insecurity, hurt.

But she is not hidden from you,
and if I think her to be extremely precious, you deem her to be worth more.
You deem me to be worth more.
What can I give in exchange for a soul? All the wealth of the world?

Why did you create man to be so? Is that your image?
Is that how you are? How you feel?

Then you must be brave to love me.

To love us all.