The heart wants what the heart wants...

It's True. But how did we come to subconsciously accept this as right?


I had the opportunity (thank God!) to deal with an unexpected heart situation that led to a somewhat difficult decision. Not going to into details, but it was a situation that was so right, so perfect, but when I came to God for the approval that I expected, the first thing I heard was "You know I want what's best for you...". That first line shook me so hard, my heart froze and the rest of what God was saying I just could not catch.


God did not leave me though, He was still there answering my prayers and just sticking with me, but by His grace, He got me to a point of surrender, where I needed to rest in Him and have a honest heart-to-heart conversation with Him. 


He told me to read Psalm 81. My heart melted, but see, the hardness did not just leave. But I did notice one thing, as I responded to God in prayers and in my actions, my mind shifted. I learned an important lesson. The Spirit helps us as we respond to God in obedience. At the end of the day, it is really not us doing the "obedience", but the Spirit of God in us. He however leaves us with the right to choose to stop obeying and to return to a stiff, hardened, in-submissive heart.


This is where we have to be extra careful, because the devil would not let the thoughts of what you wanted or why it was ok to have whatever it was, to just leave you. We have to remain yielded in the Spirit to God and then the devil would flee. "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (James 4:7, bible.cc).


Finally, the heart may want what it wants, but at the end of the day, " "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything." (1 Corinthians 6:12, bible.cc). So what are you struggling with? Or what are you struggling to ask God about in the first place? He only wants the best for you, so rest secure in His love and let go of that covetousness in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Revelation

Hello Everyone!!! Woohoooo...is anyone here? Lol

I feel like such a jerk :). I haven't been on here in ageeessss...I apologize really, from the bottom of my heart, to everyone who reads this blog and comes back to check if I just fell off the planet. I didn't. I just became...I don't know...

But I'm sorry :)

Ok, so let's get right into it! (Rubs palms together).

I'm so excited because this is one of those things that we get (understand), but run off and pretty much forget. I just can't wait to get it out and see what the Holy Spirit brings out of me (that's my fav part of blogging with God, and ok, I'll stop with the parenthesis).

Ok, so just look at this verse, a close look at this one:

17Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. 18And I tell you that you are Peter (AKA Rock, as in BOULDER),^c and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades^d will not overcome it.^e 19I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be^f bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be^g loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 16: 17-19, NIV, lifted from bible.cc)

So pretty much, Jesus and his close friends aka disciples aka people like moi :D were having a conversation. So Jesus, out of nowhere asks a seemingly random question. And Peter opens his mouth and said something that was like 'wow' (for lack of a better word to capture the essence of what just happened). Now, for been-in-Sunday-school-all-my-life people like me, we don't get that. Like, how did he NOT know that Jesus is the Son of God, that's so trivial, right? Wrong!

See, when Jesus lived among men, it was at a time that God swore that the Jews would pretty much be blind to him, with a veil over them that though they hear, they would not understand because He was pretty much frustrated with their attitude towards Him and His Holiness. They just didn't care that the Holy One was in their midst and had no respect or honor towards God. They dabbled into idolatry, threw their kids into fire for sacrifice, had temple prostitutes (male and female) as an excuse to be horny and look religious while at it. They desecrated His temple, but the main thing that really got to God, that I get from scripture in general, was that they shed innocent blood; prophets, kids, poor and oppressed people, and from their perspective they were doing no wrong. Pretty much, their hearts were stone-hard, dark and farrrr, very far from God. But see, these were not gentiles. They were sworn to God by an everlasting covenant that they walked into over and over again by themselves - with Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Ezra/Nehemiah, David, Solomon. Like this was a serious contract. And they always said "let our blood be upon us and upon our children if we ever deviate from the words of this covenant". Pretty intense clause to add huh?

Well, being the Israelites that they were at that time, they were stubborn and unashamed (God's words not mine, even made an allusion to them being whores without remorse - I love my bible, no jokes). But this is pretty serious stuff.

Well anyways, they were living in "darkened" times by the time the Messiah was on earth. Revelation was scarce. And they couldn't recognize God talking unless it was a pharisee with his all flowing, elegant robes who said, "Thus says the Lord...". But they weren't really alarmed because, one, they were in many ways "unfamiliar with/strangers to" God (and oblivious to it), and so they could talk about Him, but just not know him and two, they were children/servants/descendants of Moses - you have to be a bible reader to get this.

Well, so God himself was in their midst. They could tell "Jesus" was God-related, but they couldn't tell it was God himself. And no one would be able to by their flesh and blood (brains and ogbon), unless God revealed it.

So Simon, just replied Jesus' "random" question and as I can imagine kinda like an eager 3rd grader who answered a question before anyone could put up their hands. Then Jesus let him know, he was right, but more than that, it did not come from him, but directly from Heaven. But here's where it gets really interesting...

...and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades^d will not overcome it.^e 19I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be^f bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be^g loosed in heaven.

Hmm. And on this rock I will build my church. What rock? Revelation that comes from the Father. Simple.

Now, let me slow down. Peter just had a gush of revelation. Then Jesus called him by a new name that means seriously, huge, strong, not easily broken, boulder rock. And Jesus goes on and says He will build his church i.e. Me (and of course Christians) on this rock, which would never be overcome by the gates of hell - think war, battle, heavy fighting from the devil. It would simply be like a speck of dust that gets blown away before it tries to get near you. Do you get it?

Let me go over again, cos I'm just too excited. Ok, so Jesus lets us know that revelation is as a boulder rock (remember the parable about the two men, one built his house on sand, the other on the rock, and when the winds came (gates of hell), it could not prevail against it. The one on sand of course crashed, it couldn't even stand a chance). But Jesus goes further the we would be built based on the revelation we get from Heaven. The more Revelation we get, no matter how contrary the physical seem, it would not shake us one bit and we would overcome all that gets thrown our way. But also, we get the authority to speak this Revelation back into the realm of the Spirit, and what ever we bind on earth would be bound in heaven and whatever we loose on earth would be loosed in heaven. Don't know about you but that kind of authority is pretty neat!

So, now you see, it is one thing to hear your pastor say something and you go and quote it. It's another to hear God tell you something, you get the revelation for it and speak it, stand upon it, decree and declare and shake the foundations of the earth that what you declare becomes established.

Wow, it feels good to be a Child of the Most High. No jokes, I'm a special kind of VIP. A vvvvvvvvip.

I'm so excited, but let me leave with these two scriptures. Leave your thoughts in the box below I want to keep talking about this.

It is the glory of God that hides the word, and the glory of the King that seeks for (investigate, search out, uncover, reveal) the word. (Proverbs 25:2, Aramaic bible in plain English, from bible.cc, with my extras in the bracket)

He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach (create the knowledge principle in) you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. (Deut 8:3, NIV, from bible.cc).

Phew...I did get something out, but I feel like I haven't even scratched the surface.

Speaking in tongues

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth 2 And the earth was without form and void and darkness was upon the face of the deep And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters 3 And God said... (Genesis 1)

Speaking in tongues. This is one area that the church has misled many believers. I`m not going in to tackle the issues, at least not right now. But I`m going to try to write about it as God has taught me, and I`ll only go as far as I know.

One thing that I misunderstood about speaking in tongues was that it wasn't for everybody. That some people can and some people cannot speak in tongues. And if you wanted to speak in tongues, you needed some spiritual "maturity". I put that in quotes because in retrospect, I did not understand that either.

True, there is a connection between speaking in tongues and your spiritual maturity, much like a connection with warriors skillfully wielding their swords. Also, God does not 'discriminate' between those who can and cannot speak in tongues. As Dr. Creflo Dollar put it, it wasn`t as though the Corithians could speak in tongues but the Ephesians could not. No, it is an ability you get as a born again christian, having received that Life-giving Spirit within you; it is the evidence of the Spirit of God.

As God's kids, we are just like Him. We create, move things around with our words. How many of you see the effects of your self-confessions in your lives? Both the good and the bad. That is why God tells us to guard our hearts with all diligence because out of it flows all the issues of life. How? By our tongues - the power of life and death is in the tongue. That is why the bible says the one who has control over his tongue has control over his body.

But allow me to focus on something very special about the Holy Spirit within us.

The spirit of man is the lamp of the LORD, searching all the innermost parts of his being (Proverbs 20:27)...the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. 11For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. (1 Corinthians 2)

When God said in Christ we have become of the same Spirit, bone and flesh of God, he wasn't joking. As born again christians, we are intimated connected with God. Paul even calls this a deep mystery. The depths is deeper than any revelation you get about a marriage convenant.

But see, this bond between man and God isn't there for nothing. Praying in the Holy Ghost is literally praying in the Holy Ghost. It is amazing. The full power and presence of God praying in you and through you with perfect knowledge, perfect understanding and perfect words.

There is no need to trivialize things into "well, we don't know all things, so God prays through us". It is true, but it is not the big picture. See that oneness, unity and bond between the creator and the created creating together. If God is for us, who really can be against us? With God, we have overwhelming victory in all things.

When I, by the grace of God speak in tongues, I come against all powers of darkness, gods and dominions causing things that are not of God in my life and even beyond me to move. I move with the Father. In short, I'm with Abba running things lol.

But seriously, speaking in tongues in part of your identity as the new man under the second Adam. We are different from what we've known, the bible says peculiar, so don't let the devil tell you lies about what you can do, or cannot do.

"...put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him" (Colossians 3:10). We are growing to become like God, so lay hold of all God has for you, get into praying in the Holy Ghost.

Faith, My Rose

Ahhh...what a wonderful day today is already!

Now, where do I start? Let me start from Sunday.

My church CWL (www.churchwithoutlimits.com) invited a powerful man of God and his wife, also a powerful woman of God, Prophet Yul Crawford and Mrs. Jane Crawford, over for the weekend. They were going to preach, teach, minister and whatever else as the Spirit directs over four different sessions.

I guess for some reason, the devil was mighty bothered. All of a sudden, from absolutely nowhere, and I mean, NOwhere, I became the target of what the MFM G.O. would call "arrows". At first, someone for no reason was just generally angry with me and she knew she had no cause but she was just too pissed. A scripture kept coming to my mind, that the one who does not guard his heart is like a city without walls, open to plunderers and raiders. I knew the devil was planting seeds in her heart, but I didn't want to pray for her, I didn't want to intercede because I was getting upset by her attitude myself...wrong move!!!

Next, someone else, on a sunday morning, right in front of the garage door on my way out to church was explaining to me, why my church is not "good" and why I should find somewhere else to worship. He was saying this calmly but I could hear the devil and I knew what he (the devil) was up to, but I still didn't pray....double wrong move....again!!!

Church service ends, and I must say I was so blessed by the ministration, however, my heart started to feel a sharp, deep agony within it and I knew the Holy Spirit wanted me to contend in the Spirit for something, but I just wasn't too bothered.

I just have to stop now and ask myself what on earth I was thinking???? Who does that????

Now, as I'm driving home, I start mumbling some words out as I prayed in tongues, but I just wasn't "in" it.

I get home and AAAALL hell breaks loose. My goodness, no human heart, being or soul can take, endure or go through all I took. After all was said and done, I said I'm sorry (for nothing I did by the way) and I got back "sorry for yourself". Jesus! I felt the old me leaping up wanting to go all out and set the record straight...but I found myself going to my room.

Fast forward to evening, I went for the last session with the prophets and my goodness, the Presence of God was all over, I was at peace and just happy. All that happened earlier just didn't matter. On my drive home, I started to feel that agony, and I started to pray in tongues, but this time I was "in". I was screaming and breaking down strongholds like a warrior, it was ridiculous. I'm thinking to myself, where did all that come from, because I just do not pray like that. It just had never happened like that before. And I tell you, my peace was GREAT.

I knew I had victory, over what I did not know. But I knew something was happening and something had happened.

And so, from the weekend till last night, it has been from one attack to another with the devil trying so hard to steer me dangerously off the course God was walking with me on, but God is faithful. He would give you the right and timely Word before the situation happens, so your thinking is perfectly aligned with His heart and nothing can harm you. The devil tried all tricks, he pulled it all, things that I ordinarily would have given into, he threw them at me and with such vehement force but in all I was (and still am) an overcomer and had soooo much peace. I don't want to go into details but there are some words that people would say to you that would always get you when they are said. You can't explain it, but once it comes out it would sting. Usually, it's because of an old wound or memory that you've probably forgotten. Or it could be a way of thinking that could be used to attack you that just always gets you. But in all, my heart felt wrapped in a cocoon of peace.

But this morning, I decided to do something different. I decided to go to church and then the library, and skip on work completely. I walked to a church that is about 20mins away from home, asked to use the sanctuary and was let in. Afterwards, I was asked to come into an office, and my goodness, it was perfect. It had a nice desk and some chairs and a bible on the table and enough room for me to lie down if I wanted, cry it I wanted, scream if I wanted. My heart said, and I believe it was the Holy Spirit, "God always provides for His own".

I put my stuff on the chairs and sat on the floor. I needed to empty myself and let Papa take control. You know, even though God gives you peace in the middle of a tornado, the devil would remind you and throw flashbacks to your soul that you may be wounded. I wasn't having it, and the only way I knew to handle that is to lay before God completely. I did not know how long I was going to be there, but I was just going to stay.

So, something like a psalm came out my heart. How many of you know that sometimes, when you can't muster up the exact words to pray, the most beautiful words flow out of your spirit...yep, it's God's. Talk about being "intimate", it was perfect, I wish I wrote it down. And then, the tears came.

I then went through the bible on the desk listlessly, ended up at Galatians and just left it. I grabbed my laptop and listened to an old sermon by Dr. Creflo Dollar. Even when I didn't know what I was doing, God was directing my steps.

I have listened to this sermon before, but this time, I heard it differently. I suggest you give it a listen.

So, I return to the still open bible on the table, and guess what passage it is on?

Life by the Spirit

16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (Galatians 5: 16-26, NIV, lifted from bible.cc)

Need I say more? God was leading me to walk according to His wisdom and will in this situation because of my peace, not because I wanted "vindication", or to "heap coals of fire" on the heads of those who offended me, but because of me.

I needed to do good in oneness with the Spirit of God within me, leading me that I may through His grace, establish peace and prosperity in my home. That shalom and wholeness may be found where the devil had intended for factions and cracked walls. But at the "foundation" of my action(s), I must walk in oneness with God's Spirit, completely, and when I do, there's no room for the flesh.

So, how does a rose come in?

Well, as I packed my things to leave the church office I was in, and let me add, God's Presence was so strong in that room, a lady came up to the door and said "hello!". I smiled and said hello back. Then she said, that someone gave her a rose yesterday, that she didn't have anything to do with it and when she saw me, something told her to give it to me, and that I should be free to come back anytime I wanted. This was after a lady came in to pray for/with me and everything she said was on point! Don't you just love God?

But, let me finish, about the rose...a couple of months back, I was walking to the subway on my way back from work and I saw a man dressed in his waiter uniform, the kind they wear in french restaurants, and he carried a bouquet of roses. It looked oh so romantic, like it was right out of a movie. Then I said to God in my heart, "God, I would really like someone to get me flowers".

And when I wasn't watching, my heavenly Father got me a rose. The exact flower I wanted.

Isn't it lovely? I know, the first picture doesn't do it justice. Pardon me, I took the pictures with my computer's webcam.

Can I just say I LOVE GOD? When you know God loves you, everyone else is "jara".

♫ It's going to be a lovely day... ♫

Oh dear, the devil just lost another one...hehehe....another battle, I mean.

Yep, I named this rose Faith. Lovely name init? No, I am not British and I never use that word, just FYI, lol!

So, I guess the point of this post is that God's love is perfect. His arms are the best, His heart is the best, His wisdom is unsearchable, His peace is without end. And He has chosen to freely pour it out on us. So, pay no attention to those "arrows". Distractions are just what they are...distractions. Do not give them space in your heart.

God's blessings,

Me.

It's a new year!!!

Happy new year everyone!!!

First off, I am so grateful to God for a wonderful 2010 and I am so looking forward to 2011 and all that He is going to do and accomplish through me in all areas of my life.

A HUGE thank you to all my blog followers. I am sooo grateful for all y'all. I know I don't acknowledge followers on this blog as much, but I really want you all to know I am grateful for your presence on this blog, your comments, your words and thoughts - they are all very "impactful"...and in a good way.

I wish you all the best of the new year in your friendships, family, work, education....everything!

God bless you all and cheers to a new, fruitful year!

Was I born this way? - Creflo Dollar

Listen to this life-changing, juicy-with-deep-knowledge discussion with Dr. Creflo Dollar. This is bound to break a lot of generational chains and addictions.

http://cdmlive.creflodollarministries.org/

_______________________________________

This is the second part of the "Was I born this way?" discussion. The first is on the website above, under the 'archive' link - do check it out.

Who am I?

I was sitting at my desk, completely unmotivated to study for a major professional exam I am studying for. And last night, I told God I feel completely unmotivated to continue with Him as I have been doing. I wondered if there is something wrong somewhere with the way I was serving God, I wondered if Grace means doing absolutely nothing and just eating the Word till the Spirit moves over it and causes a change within, I wondered if I just do not know what I am doing. And in the midst of it all, the consciousness of my sinful nature was front and center in my mind. And I just felt unmotivated about everything else in my life. If I can't get this right, then what am I living for? Without God I am nobody; if I can't honor Him with my life, if my heart is divided, what am I living for? How different am I from the hypocrites in the Church of God, His very own Bride?

As I sat in my dad's study, this line came to my mind: "Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.” 1 Kings 19:18

I did a quick google search, got on bible gateway and found out what chapter and verse in the bible that came from. I need to quickly mention, among other thoughts that came to my mind, it was highlighted in my mind the context in which God said this to Elijah - one of the most difficult and lowest of lows in his life, and not only that, that that was the birthing of Elisha's ministry. He was one of the greatest national prophets in Israel since Moses.

Within that same second, or maybe seconds, (it's interesting how fast our thoughts form), I remembered a verse I read last night or the night before. The verse jumped right out to me and softened my heart. It said "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and [that] your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you." John 15:16.

Reading the passages prior to this verse about remaining tied to the vine, remaining in God's Love that my joy may be full and obeying him over the last couple of days, maybe weeks, had caused me to be stressed out. I felt as though I really can't do this, not because I don't want to, but because my heart has little to no desire to absolutely, without any iota of a doubt, completely and fully obey God. It is difficult.

There's drama and sources of drama front, right and center. There's sources of conflicts within me, professional motivations that border and constantly fall into a place of lust and love of this world. There's thorns left right and center to choke out the Word within, there's people who take pleasure in putting down others to make themselves look good (and you have to LOVE them with absolutely no pretense, knowing they are emotional vultures). There's all kinds of things running through one's mind; past regrets, past hurts, frustrations, anger, malice, covetousness. But somehow somehow, God is not changing His stance (lol) and still says "be ye holy as I am holy", "as dear children, imitate your Father". Really??? Can I give in today and continue tomorrow? Can I just chill?! Can I just be upset because I want to be and not mask the true feelings within? Can I accept a call from him or him or him, knowing fully well he would try to steer me in a direction I know isn't yet in God's plan for me? Can I just be?

But in all these, I forgot that I did not choose Him, but He chose me from the very foundations of the earth to be a partaker of His divine glory. And He looks at me in the eyeball and says "who says I cannot be like Him??? He ORDAINED me already to go out and bear much fruit and that my fruit should REMAIN. Definitely not those Sunday afternoons church highs. No, like a tree planted by a river of water, my fruit shall remain all season. Not because of any spiritual prowess I may have (some people think like this - this is nothing but the same quality within lucifer that led him against God), not because of my will power, and definitely not because I find any good within myself that will make me work out God's will - the flesh cannot glory in His Presence. But because He ORDAINED me. This tells me there is a lot about Grace I really do not know.

And like that passage in the 1 Kings, even though it may seem really difficult and impossible to remain in God's will, there are many thousands, and in our time, definitely millions, who have not bowed their knee to the god of this age, nor kissed him with their mouth.

So as Peter charged the Church I charge you all, and myself especially, to be humbled by God's power so that when the right time comes he will honor you. Turning all your anxiety over to God because he cares for you. Keep your mind clear, and be alert. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion as he looks for someone to devour. Be firm in the faith and resist him, knowing that other believers throughout the world are going through the same kind of suffering. But God, who shows you his kindness/mercy/grace and who has called you through Christ Jesus to his eternal glory, will restore you, strengthen you, make you strong, and support you as you suffer for a little while. Power belongs to him forever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:6-11)

I am not alone; there are others in this world who will not worship nor serve any other but the LORD GOD in Spirit and in truth. But above all, I have JEHOVAH with me, not by my choosing, but out of His own self-will, he has chosen me. It is His Spirit working in me that would mold me into His image and not my will power, not "my righteousness". My Righteousness is of God and my witness is on high. (Gosh! I have tears in my eyes!!!)